Lamar County AlArchives News.....The Vernon Clipper February 13, 1880
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The Vernon Clipper February 13, 1880

Microfilm Ref Call #373
Microfilm Order #M1992.4466
from
The Alabama Department of Archives and History

THE VERNON CLIPPER 

VOLUME I.          VERNON, LAMAR CO., ALABAMA         FEBRUARY 13, 1880     
NUMBER 50    

POETICAL SELECTIONS

FLORENCE MCDONALD – By Mary Ashley Townsend

Dead in the morgue there, nobody claiming her,
Nobody watching beside the young head,
Nobody missing her, nobody naming her,
Nobody mourning because she is dead.

Out in the night-wind the street lamps flare wearily
Autumn leaves out of their branches are whirled,
Yonder, with dead eyelids folded down drearily,
Poor human leaf drifted out of the world!

Nobody mourning her, no one so daring
Poor fragile wreck of life’s desolate shore
Only a Christ dares to share such despairing
Murmur forgiveness, and “Go, sin no more.”

Youthful and fair once, and white-souled and sinning
Pure as the purest that ever drew breath,
Fresh as a flower in its bud and beginning,
Love, with a kiss, stung its beauty to death!

Poor, wretched heart, with no arms to enfold it,
Cheated and wronged of its tenderest needs,
Like some frail vine, with no good thing to hold it,
Turning at last to entrance about woods.

Out of life’s stage to find all the crowed hissing her
Shuddering and striving to hide her poor face
Reaching for alms that forever were missing her,
Fainting and falling to shame and disgrace.

But in the morgue there is no more to worry her;
Charity, love nor uprightness draw near,
Too cleanly purity e’en to help bury her,
Virtue too holy to give her a tear.

Hark! Comes a sound from the ranks unrespected, 
Murmur of voices – a woman’s kind tone
Saying, “Tis shameful to leave her neglected,
Friendless, forsaken, and dead here alone.

“Come ye here, women!  Our fingers shall spin her
Shroud white as for any saint in the land;
We --- sinners – and she was a sinner
Let her receive Christian rites at our hand.

“Poor murdered creature!  Our hearts know the aching.
Love turned a liar can give with a sneer;
All of us know just what cruel forsaking
Shattered this girl’s life and hurried her here.”

Coffin her tenderly – shroud her all whitely –
Twice ye the roses in cross and in crown
Place her tired feet and hands decently, rightly
So did these women there – they “of the town.”

They to that shrine in the morgue brought the preacher
Wept they for her whom nobody would own – 
As fell the words of Christ Jesus, the Teacher,
“Who without sin?  Let him cast the first stone.”

So did they bury her – they the unholy;
So did they give her their pity and care;
So they wept for her – the lost and the lowly
Won the deed no recognition up there?

Aye!  On the page which the angel was smiling
With sins of the lost, a great glory swept down,
Setting against them in luminous writing
This deed of the women there – they – “of the town”

THE YOUNG PHYSICIAN
	“It is no use, papa!  The idea of disposing of me in any such style – 
as if I were to have no voice in the matter!”  And Edith tossed her pretty 
brown curls with an air of determination.  “To have one’s husband selected for 
one is absurd!”
	“Edith,” said her father, “do try to be reasonable; you know I should 
never wish to force your inclinations in such a serious matter.  You have 
often heard me speak of Mr. Chester.  He was a friend of mine at college, but 
after that we lost sight of each other for many years, until I went abroad, 
when I met my old friend, but only to lose him again in a few weeks by death.  
He left me the guardian of his only child, a son of nineteen, who was then 
studying in a medical college and heir to a large fortune.  Before dying, my 
friend expressed a wish that you should marry his son.  Young Chester was to 
know nothing of his father’s wish until he should have finished his studies, 
when he was to come to Seaton.  That was four years ago.  I have kept myself 
informed as to his character, and have always received the most favorable 
reports.”
	“Oh, I suppose he is perfect!”  said Edith saucily.  “But let me hope 
he has found his ‘true love;’ if not, he may object to having a wife selected 
for him.  But you don’t expect me to stay here to fall dutifully in love with 
this young doctor, I hope!  Auntie Carrie starts for Seaton soon, and I have 
made arrangements to go with her.  When do you expect this prodigy?”
	“Edith,” said her father sternly, “I wish you to understand you are to 
treat Mr. Chester, while he is my guest, with respect, if nothing more, and 
not let your foolish love of romance prevent you from seeing his many 
admirable traits of character.  It is one of my dearest wishes to see you 
married to him, but as I have said: I shall not force your wishes.  He will 
not come here until September, so that will give you plenty of time at Seaton.”
	“Well, you are a dear good papa.” said Edith, throwing her arms around 
his neck, and looking up roguishly into his face.  “I will be as fascinating 
as possible, if I don’t meet my fate in some one else at Seaton.”
	“I’ll risk it!” said her father, pinching her cheek.
	Edith Darling was the only child of Nathan Darling, w wealthy banker.  
Her mother had died when she was but five years old and her father had not 
married again.
	So Edith had been flattered and petted until I wonder she wasn’t 
completely spoiled; I must confess that she was rather fond of having her own 
way, and generally managed to have it.
	Monday found Edith delightfully settled at Seaton; in a charming 
cottage belonging to Mrs. Raymond, the Auntie Carrie before spoken of, and Mr. 
Darling’s sister.  She usually spent her summers there, with Edith and her 
son, a rollicking boy of fourteen, who had a great admiration for his pretty 
cousin, but liked to tease her occasionally, not withstanding.
	Edith and Fred would go off in the afternoon to the cliffs, while Aunt 
Carrie was enjoying a comfortable doze at home.
	Edith generally carried a book of her favorite poems, while Fred 
managed to amuse himself in his own fashion.  He was never to be found when it 
was time to go home, and after she had called him until she was hoarse, he 
would make his appearance, with his trousers tucked in his boots, and hat 
drawn over his eyes, and inform her “that he had got such a jolly fine crab 
down there, and for her to make haste and see him kick.”
	One day they started out, and Edith found the nicest kind of nook, and 
having established herself to her satisfaction, prepared to enjoy it, Fred 
leafing her alone as usual.
	She had brought a book to read, but leaning back in lazy enjoyment of 
the day, watched the white sails with a dreamy look in her eyes, as if her 
thoughts were miles away.
	She happened to glance down, and became aware that a pair of blue 
eyes, brimming over with fun, were regarding her with an amused look from an 
adjoining rock.
	The owner of said eyes was a young man of about three and twenty, who 
seemed to be taking life easy.  His head was resting against a rock, while his 
feet were resting on another, in true masculine fashion.
	“Looks as if he had been a fixture there all the afternoon,” thought 
Edith, trying to look as if she was not aware that he was looking at her, 
which attempt was rather a failure.
	She prepared to start for home, when looking round, she missed her 
hat, which she had taken off.  The wind had carried it away, and lodge it in 
the crevice of the rocks far down.
	“How unfortunate!” thought Edith “I can never go down there.”
	“Can I be of any use?”
	Turning, Edith saw the youth of the blue eyes.
	“I don’t’ see how you can,” said Edith, looking dubiously at the 
unfortunate hat, which was resting peacefully on the rocks below.
	After looking for some time, they found a long branch, and the hat was 
fished up in triumph.
	“A new and novel way of fishing,” said he, as he deposited it at her 
feet.  “Perhaps you will thank me, though you did look so dignified when you 
discovered me on the opposite rock.  Really, to be candid, I thought seriously 
of asking you if I could come over and read to you; should you have been 
shocked it I had?”
	‘Of course,” said Edith, with a roguish look.  “It would have been 
very improper.”
	“Since the all important ceremony of introduction can be dispensed 
with, them, allow me,” said he, at the same time taking a card case from his 
pocket, and handing her a card.
	As Edith took it, some one shouted “Edith!” and, looking down, they 
discovered Fred limping along with a doleful look!  The interesting youth had 
sprained his ankle.
	‘How did you manage to do it?” asked Edith, as she and her new friend 
assisted him home.
	“I was playing Robinson Crusoe on a desert island,” growled Fred, “and 
fell off the rock.”
	They finally reached home, where it was found that the ankle had 
received a pretty severe wrench, which would confine Fred to the house for a 
few days.
	Mrs. Raymond thanked the young stranger for so kindly assisting her 
niece.  He proved to be a doctor, and after attending to Fred, he went away, 
promising to call in the morning and see his patient.
	“How very fortunate he should have been near!” said Mrs. Raymond.  “I 
wonder who he is?”
	Edith said nothing to correct the impression that her aunt had 
received, but after gaining her own room, drew the card from her pocket and 
read it.
	“John Smith!” exclaimed Edith, with a grimace.
	“Certainly not a high-sounding title.”
* * * * * 
	The next morning found Edith established in the parlor, ostensibly to 
keep Fred company, but really in prospect of the handsome doctor’s call.  She 
had not long to wait before he was ushered into the room.
	After pronouncing Fred better, he was interrogated by that youth as to 
when he would be able to walk.
	“Not for four days,” said the doctor.  “Rather hard work for you, 
isn’t it?  Are you fond of reading?
	“Yes, I like books, if there are lots of bears, and alligators, and 
fighting, and Indians in them.”
	“Well,” said the doctor, laughing, “I think that I have some works of 
that description; and if your mother will allow me, I will bring them over.”
	“Certainly,” said Mrs. Raymond.  “I shall consider it a great 
kindness.”
	So he called that afternoon, the next day, and the next, and in the 
course of time Edith managed to get remarkably well acquainted with him.  One 
day, just on the spot where they first met, he told her he loved her and won a 
similar confession from her sweet lips.
	Edith told her lover of Mr. Chester, and that her father expected her 
to marry him.
	“But I shall not marry him now,” said Edith, “unless,” with a roguish 
look “you particularly wish me to do so.”
	He did not answer, except to fold her more closely in his arms, and 
kiss the red lips so temptingly near.
	“Edith, I have a confession to make that will alter your mind in 
regard to Mr. Chester.  I am the man that you have just said you would not 
marry!  The fact is I saw you before you started for Seaton, and when your 
father told me that you had rather romantic notions on the subject of love, we 
entered into plot against you.  Fate seemed to favor me, and, after all, it 
was much nicer, wasn’t it?”
	But Edith told him he was a wretch, and that she would never forgive 
him.  We rather think she changed her mind, though as there was a wedding at 
Mr. Darling’s in a few weeks, at which Miss Edith changed her name, not to 
Smith, but to Chester.

CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE – PROVING AN OLD SOLDIER KILLED AND BURNED WHO IS NOW 
ALIVE AND WELL
	The terrible disaster at Ashtabula, on the Lake Shore Railroad on the 
29th of December, 1876 will long be remembered as one of the most awful in its 
results that ever occurred in the United sates. Shortly after this accident, 
Mrs. Webber, who is a poor woman with two children appeared in the office of a 
lawyer in Rochester, N. Y. and stating that she had every reason to believe 
her husband had been killed in that disaster, request him to commence a suit 
against the railroad company in her behalf.  The evidence which she offered to 
introduce in proof of her husband’s sad fate was supposed to have been 
consumed in the flames.  She had been to Astabula, and in the debris of the 
wrecked train she had found a bunch of keys which she positively recognized as 
those having been in the possession of her husband.  One of these keys, in 
further proof she had ascertained exactly fitted the clock in her house, and 
an Auburn man was ready to swear that he had made such a key for the 
deceased.  Another key fitted a chest which she had in her possession, while 
still another of the keys fitted the lock on the door.  But the very strongest 
proof of all which she had discovered was a piece of cloth which she had 
recognized as having been part of her dad husband’s coat.  The proof by no 
means stopped here, however.  A physician of Rochester testified that he rode 
to Buffalo on the same train with the deceased on the fatal 29th of December; 
while another gentleman testified to seeing the deceased take the train at 
Buffalo which went to ruin at Ashtabula.  With this all but positive proof 
that the husband was among the victims of the disaster, the suit was 
commenced.  The funds enabling her to carry it on, being supplied by a kind-
hearted citizen of Rochester.  When the railroad company’s attorneys were 
confronted with the proofs of the plaintiff’s case, they advised a settlement 
with her for $4,000.  But she wanted $5,000 or nothing, and the company’s 
lawyers concluded to let the matter go before the courts.  The investigations 
concerning the fate of the husband were continued, but is was ascertained that 
he had been sent by Gen. Martindale, his former superior officer in the army, 
to the Pension Home in Wisconsin several days previous to the Ashtabula 
disaster, and this fact soon brought to light the very important disclosure 
that a man of his name, answering his description exactly, who stated that he 
had a wife and two children in Rochester, was still alive and safe in that 
institution, and that he was not near Ashtabula at the time of the disaster.  
Of course this knocked the suit against the railroad company in the head.  The 
poor woman is out $4,000 and the kind-hearted citizen who advanced the funds 
is out in his disbursements, as the woman is too poor to repay him.  The case 
is a most remarkable one, however, from the fact that no person doubts the 
truthfulness of the witnesses whose evidence formed the basis on which the 
suit was commenced.

STRANGLES IN HORSES
	Most persons conversant with horses must be aware that certain glands 
lie just under the angles of the two jaws, and run up in the direction of the 
ear.  They are the seat of the affection peculiar to young animals know under 
the name of strangles.  Now, it is by no means infrequent, especially among 
the commoner kind of horses, to find these glands large and flabby in their 
textures.  With well-bred and well-formed animals it is often very difficult 
to find them at all under the skin.  Sometimes the abnormal size of these 
glands is evidently constitutional, sometimes it is a consequence of disease – 
strangles, for instance – and sometimes it arises wholly from the pressure of 
the angles of the jaws, especially when these lie too close together, and the 
rider or driver has attempted to force a certain position, either by the use 
of severe bits, or, what is still worse, a combination of these with the 
bearing–rein in harness.  If such a state of things be overlooked or 
neglected, very serious consequences may arise.  The forced pressure of the 
jaw-bone on these glands is sometimes perfectly excruciating to the animal, 
and it has recourse, to the great astonishment of its ignorant rider or driver 
to all sorts of expedients to get rid of the intolerable pain.  It will 
refuses its work or run away or throw itself down or rear up, or do any thing 
or every thing in its desperation, and the brute on its back or on the coach-
box knows no other remedy for it than “to flog the sulk out of him,” whereas 
the whole thing is probably the result of bad hitting and bridling.

CURIOUS EFFECT OF A STORM
	Some curious effects of the recent storm are reported from the French 
Provinces.  At Tarbes the inhabitants were surprised about 10 o’clock at night 
by the sudden arrival of a flock of quails, some thousands in number, which 
alighted on the houses, and even in the roads, in a terrifc scare.  The 
Nimrods of the town turned out and did fearful execution.  From Pau a similar 
nocturnal invasion is announced.  The streets there are said to have been 
swarmed with the birds, many of which entered the houses where there happened 
to be alight.  At Montelimart, in the Drome, about one thousand sparrows were 
killed by lightning.

SHAKESPEAR’S LONDON HOUSE – [London Times]
	Within the last week or two there has passed away another relic of the 
London of the days of Elizabeth, the residence on the western side of the 
Aldersgate, commonly known as “Shakespeare’s House.”  The local tradition goes 
that William Shakespeare lived in it when he was proprietor of the theater in 
Golden Lane toward the close of the fifteenth century.  In Shakespeare’s time 
the house bore the sign of the “Half Moon” to which sundry inscriptions and 
hieroglyphics in the old woodwork referred.  A writer in the City Press of 
1866describes the house as well able to “vie with any other house in the city 
for its elaborate carvings in wood and primitive paneling well worthy the 
attention of those curios in such matters.”  As a proof of its age he mentions 
that during the recent repairs there was found under the woodwork a coin of 
the date of 1596.  It is recorded in “Ben Johnson’s Life” that on one occasion 
the ‘rare” old poet, feeling an inward craving for “sack” went to the “Half 
Moon” in Aldersgate Street, but finding it closed, took himself off to 
the “Sun” in Long Acre, where he immediately sat down and wrote the following 
epigram:
	Since the Half Moon is so unkind
	To make me go about,
	The Sun my money now shall have
	The Moon shall go without.
Half a century or more later the aristocratic and literary wits of the “Merry 
Monarch’s” court were accustomed, we are told to assemble at the “Half Moon” 
Tavern, opposite to Lauderdale House, which as is well known, stood o the east 
side of the street.  “Shakespeare’s House” however, with its heavy projecting 
gables and quaint oriels and how windows, is now a thing of the past, and a 
large pile of modern buildings is about to be erected on its site.

HOW POMPEII WAS DESTROYED – [Boston Sunday Budget]
The recent commemoration of the destruction of Pompeii seems to have revived 
the universal interest inspired by the famous city for we cannot open an 
exchange paper without reading something about it.  It was only accidentally 
discovered by a peasant digging in a field in 17848.  When the excavations 
have been completed it will probably be found that about fifteen hundred 
persons perished in the catastrophe.  How?  Not by lava, for the city stood on 
a plateau which diverted the fiery streams; not from stones hurled from 
Vesuvius, for the city is out of range of those ponderous projectiles; not by 
the rain of pumice stones, for the particles were as light as snow-flakes.  
They were killed by an earthquake or asphyxiated by gases heavier than the 
air, b sulphuric and carbonic acids.  Old men, the sick and prisoners perished 
because they were unable to fly.  The phenomenon lasted full five days, at the 
expiration of which the fugitives returned to hunt among the ashes for the 
valuables they had left in their homes.  A catalogue of the articles found in 
Pompeii fills a large volume.

THE VALUABLE INVENTIONS – [Virginia (Nev.) Chronicle]
	The following new inventions by residents of Nevada have been caveated 
at the Washington patent office:
	A BARBER’S MUZZLER – This is a very serviceable contrivance which can 
be fastened over a barber’s mouth to prevent his talking while shaving 
customer’s.  It is made of iron, padded inside, and can be fastened securely 
so as to cover the whole mouth.  It is furnished with clamps and screws which 
are fixed at the back of the head.  Price $2.50.  Those furnished with a lever 
attachment for the purpose of breaking the barber’s jaw, come at $3.  The 
plates which fit on the cheek are of the best chilled steel.
	THE BONNET GRAPPLE – This little machine is destined to be of great 
service to theatre-goers.  It is an ordinary grappling-hook with a rope 
attached.  The grapple is thrown over any lady’s bonnet which may happen to 
obstruct the view, and the crowd behind can always be depended upon to pull 
the rope.  It sometimes disfigures the lady’s face permanently, in which case 
she never returns to again obstruct the view.

A GYPSY WEDDING
There was a gypsy wedding in a probate court in Columbus, Ohio the other day.  
Two men, five women and three children belonging to the band of wanderers 
presented themselves at the court and asked for a license.  The bride wore a 
pink muslin dress slightly en train, with a shawl of many colors, and a common 
black straw hat.  Her hair was straight and jet black, and on her fingers were 
two brass rings.  One of her sisters wore a white satin shawl and another a 
silk dress, and both giggled immoderately.  A minister who happened to be 
serving on a jury was sent for and the ceremony was performed.  A jollier 
crowd never attended a wedding.  “What’s the damage?” asked the husband, 
putting his hand in his pocket.  “Anything you want to give,” replied his male 
gypsy companion.  The preacher received a respectable fee.  A vicious young 
gypsy in a white dress, red woolen jacket and garden hat covered with white 
gauze, jumped up and congratulated the bride, when her companions followed her 
example.  Then the wedding stramp began.

When you have allowed a man to employ your knife to pare an apple, you should 
not confide to him the secret that the particular blade he used is a ripper to 
pare corns.  Somehow it makes him wish he had not eaten the apple. – [Atlantic 
Monthly]

A USEFUL DISCOVERY IN BUTTER
The London Times reports a new and important discovery in butter-making, so 
important in fact, that if there be no “arts” the whole dairy business may be 
revolutionized, and rancid butter become a thing of the past.  The mixture of 
a small quantity of an article declared to be perfectly harmless protects 
butter from all the ordinary effects of exposure to the atmosphere, so that it 
is kept perfectly sweet for months without a particle of salt.  The experiment 
was first tried by the Aylesbury Dairy Company, which treated butter in this 
way on the 27th of July.  After it was prepared it was placed in a muslin bag 
and laid in a firkin.  Not a grain of salt was put into the butter.  For three 
months it was left exposed to the air, and to many and great changes of 
temperature.  On the 24th of October it was taken out and found to be 
perfectly sweet, and to have suffered only a slight loss of the peculiar aroma 
and flavor that distinguish butter that is entirely fresh and newly made.  It 
is not easy to exaggerate the importance of this discovery, provided it proves 
to be all that is now claimed for it. At present the delicate flavor of good 
butter is sacrificed by a large admixture of salt, which must be added to keep 
it from spoiling, and the consequence is that most people have learned to like 
salted butter, and to find the unsalted article flat and tame.  It is a 
perverted taste, nevertheless; for in salted butter the salt gives the 
predominant flavor.  It would not take long to educate the palates of people 
up to the delicacy of the fresh article.  The expense of the new ingredient is 
a mere trifle, only about one cent a pound; and when a person buys butter with 
6 percent of salt in it for twenty-five cents a pound, he pays a cent and a 
half for the salt.

SUICIDE IN FRANCE
A certain Petrus Borel once stupefied the legislators of King Louis Phillippe 
with a strange proposition.  It was a petition tending to encourage suicides 
and proposing to “establish at Paris and in the chief town of each department 
a large works or machine moved by water or steam power in order to kill by a 
gentle and agreeable method people wary of life and desirous of committing 
suicide.”  In dry countries Petrus Borel suggested that windmills might be 
used.  As suicide was as incurable as dueling he suggested that the government 
should get a revenue out of it by taxing each person who desired to make an 
end of himself.  This method the petitioner went on to show would answer all 
requirements.  (1) There would be no longer any bad smells. (2) Foot 
passengers would not run the risk of coming into contact with the pendant legs 
of a suspended corpse or to receive on their heads a desperate body 
precipitated from the fifth story. (3) Suicide, buy becoming a common and 
industrial affair, would soon fall into desuetude.  Notwithstanding these 
arguments, however, Petrus and his idea did not gain a hearing.

TWO DAINTY LITTLE HANDS – [Richmond (Va.) State]
This afternoon a gentleman returning from the fair grounds in a crowded 
vehicle felt his watch slipping out of his pocket.  He clapped his hand to his 
timepiece and was surprised to find that it came in contact with the hand of a 
well-dressed and pretty young lady who was sitting at his side.  He looked 
around at her and was nonplussed at seeing two dainty little hands, encased in 
beautifully-fitting gloves, which were crossed on her lap.  He was through the 
trick at once.  This female was a pick-pocket and the hands crossed upon her 
lap were false.  The gentleman kept quiet until the vehicle had gotten well 
into tow, when he told the female that she had better get out with him.  She 
readily assented, the wagon was stopped and the two alighted.  Upon reaching 
the sidewalk he told her that he intended to call a policeman and have her 
taken to the station house.  She begged piteously for mercy and by her 
seductive ways soon succeeded in getting the old gent to let her go free.

RESURRECTING AN OLD INSTITUION
Stoneyhurst College, the great English Jesuit establishment at which Sir Roger 
Tichborne was educated, and which figured so largely in the celebrated case, 
is to be rebuilt from the foundation at a cost of 100,000 lbs.  The estate 
comprises above 2,000 acres, the whole of which is farmed by the Jesuits 
themselves, with the assistance of bailiffs, and the administration is so 
successful that the enormous establishment in the college has hitherto been 
maintained from the produce of the estate, and the bulk of the sums paid by 
the students has been allowed to accumulate.  Compared with other English 
public schools, the annual expense to students is low, being fixed at sixty 
guineas a year, while the diet is exceptionally liberal and generous.  The 
sons of many distinguished Americans have been educated, and are now being 
educated there.

MISTOOK HIS POSITION
	How a private mistook his position, when in front of the enemy, is 
shown in this humorous paragraph:
	It was before the trenches at Petersburg and remarkably hot, when you 
consider we were in December.  Our regiment was charging up a side-hill, raked 
fore and aft with batteries and sharp-shooters.  One fellow near me dropped on 
his hands and knees, and crawled on in that position towards the enemy, when 
the colonel caught him in the rear with the flat of his sabre:
	“Get up, you fool!  Do you think you are cavalry?”

CLIPPED PARAGRAPHS

PASSING AWAY
We are passing away, passing away
Like the raindrops after the showers;
We may be blessed with health today
Tomorrow the cold grave ours.

We are passing away, passing away,
Like the dew before the sun,
Then let us help along life’s way
Some weary, toiling one.

We are passing away, passing away
From this world of care and sin;
Then let us strive from day to day
The goal of life to win.

We are passing away, passing away –
Life’s sands will soon be run;
Then may we hear the Savior say,
“You have the victory won.”

A HORSE-HEIR – a colt.

AKIN to love – old maids.

The candle says:  “I’ll be blowed if I go out.”

When a man is dead drunk, he is only a soak-ailed man.

A call for arms – the baby’s wild yell in the middle of the night.

Are electric eels the eel-light among the codfish aristocracy of fish?

In what age was clothing first introduced?  In the garb-age, probably.

The Irish doctor – “And thin, wi’ regard to the swelling’ at the back of yer 
head, I don’t appreind anything sarious; but you must kape yer eye sharp upon 
it!”

An urchin who had begged a penny of an old toper in vain, rewarded him with 
this advice:  “Don’t you carry that nose of yourn to no powder fact’ry or they 
might play the hose on yer.”

Probably no man so fully realizes the hollowness of life and ambition as the 
man who ladles a teaspoonful of new-laid horse-radish into his mouth, under 
the impression that it is ice-cream.

A good judge always gives a man a chance to say why sentence of death should 
not be pronounced on him, but always pronounces sentence just the same after 
the man has spoken.

All blacksmiths have a t least one vise – [New York Herald] You allude, of 
course, to forgery.

There is an unnatural bustle about business, but it’s nobody’s business who 
wears the bustle.

A seasick passenger said the business boom had struck him, because everything 
was coming up.

Poverty stares many a man in the face, but impudent corner loafers do the 
business for the women.

The best advertising medium in the world is the blood, because it circulates 
free among all classes. 

Blessed are the chimney-sweepers, for they soot themselves and everybody that 
comes in contact with them.

“This is for your sole use and behoof” as the donkey said to the muleteer as 
he kicked him over.

The fact that half a barrel of cussedness is frequently found in a two-quart 
boy, has never been explained.

The busiest bee in the fall is the husking bee.  He gathers his honey from the 
lips of the girl who finds the read ear.

“You never saw my hands as dirty as that,” said a petulant mother to her 
little girl.  “No, but your ‘ma did,” was the reply.

The rage for decorations has not yet extended to buckwheat cakes.  They are 
still made plain, and are seldom nailed up on the parlor walls.

No woman has ever yet been known to kindle a fire with either a fashion 
magazine or a paper containing the trial of a clergyman.

Did it ever occur to you that the object people have in continually 
shouting, “Give the devil his dew,” is to extinguish that little blaze of his 
before they are obliged to call on him?  - [Lowell Sun]

“Oh, grandma” cried a mischievous little urchin, “I cheated the hens so nicely 
just now!  I threw them your gold beads, and they thought they were corn, and 
ate them up as fast as they could.”

Two aeronauts were thrown out of a balloon that rose from the Woodward 
Gardens, San Francisco, on October 5, only to explode with a frightful roar.  
They were both killed – [Harper’s Weekly] Any two aeronauts who will explode 
with a frightful roar deserve to be killed.

A stern parent discovered his daughter sitting by her lover’s side with his 
arms around her.  With an angry gleam in his eye he started fort he girl, when 
she said:  “Hold on, father, for I am armed.”

The young hopeful is about to retire for the night and his mother is 
superintending the devotions.  Mother – “Now Johnny, begin:  God grant---“  
Johnny – “Look a-here, ma, you don’t come any of that Grant business on me.”

Porous plasters were marked down to fifteen cents by a Danbury druggist 
yesterday.  This is much cheaper than an undershirt, to say nothing about the 
saving in washing.  Besides you always know where it is – [Danbury News]

“Parian marble busts,” repeated old Squire Folsom, looking up at the placard 
in the art gallery.  “Wall, naow, I dew declar’!  That must be queer sorter 
stuff.  I shouldn’t care to sculp much on tht ‘ere, I reckon, ef I was a 
sulper.”

A little Chicago girl who lived on the west side between two avenues which 
approached a cemetery, was told by her mother that the passing funerals were 
of “those who were going to God.”  Some time after the little one remarked, 
with a perplexed air, not realizing that all roads lead to Rome, “When I go to 
God, mamma, I don’t know whether I shall go by Lake or Madison Street.”

PAGE 2

THE VERNON CLIPPER
ALEXANDER COBB, Editor & Proprietor
ALEX. A. WALL, Publisher
$1.50 per annum
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 1880

Northport New Era:  Last Monday evening a shooting scrape took place between 
City Marshal MUCHISON and HARVEY W. SAVAGE.  The particulars, as near as we 
are able to give them, are as follows:  SAVAGE was intoxicated, and for some 
cause raised a row with a stranger who happened to be in town at the time, for 
which the Marshal and police, after a desperate resistance, placed him in the 
guard house.  His friends made bond and released him.  He then returned and 
defied the town authorities with a drawn pistol; and when Marshal MUCHISON 
attempted to arrest him the second time he commenced firing.  The Marshal 
returned four or five shots, two of them hitting a small tree behind which 
Savage had taken shelter.  Strange to say no one was hurt; the streets being 
crowded with people and balls were flying at random.  One of the balls from 
Savage’s pistol passed through the Marshal’s clothing.  Savage made his escape 
and is still at large.

Mont. Adv:  Some time ago a lady who is quite an ornithologist and is skilled 
in the art of stuffing birds, was presented with a wounded owl, which she 
placed in a cage and gentled until it became an interesting pet.  About a week 
since a dead blue-bird, a very pretty one, was sent her and she stuffed it, 
making an unusually fine specimen.  So naturally was it poised as if about to 
spring that the owl, wisest of birds, thought it alive, and stared at it night 
and day, as if in wonder that it did not fly.  Since his captivity, the owl 
had had no live food, and frequently he snapped his bills at the blue-bird, 
thinking what a delicious morsel it would make.  One night last week he got 
out of his cage, no one knows how, and he made a glorious meal of that blue-
bird, stuffing himself as if it was his last; alas!  So it was.  The bird was 
pickled with arsenic, a preservative that killed.  And now the owl, with open 
beak and outstretched wings, is poised where the poisoned blue-bird poised 
before him.

The young ladies of Chattanooga organized a leap year party, hired a hall, 
ordered a supper, and went around in carriages to hunt up the young men to 
compel them to come in.  Everything was lovely until the committee went to 
settle the bills, when they learned that the young men had already paid them.  
The young ladies say now that it was “real mean” in the boys, and declare that 
they will never give another leap year party.

We have just learned of the distressing death, by drowning, on Monday last, of 
the little six year old son of MR. VINCENT ROWLAND, of this county.  The 
little boy it seems followed some ducks to a small stream near his father’s 
residence and when the ducks went into the water, the little fellow also 
followed them.  The recent rains had considerably swollen the stream, and the 
little boy had not gone in very far before he was overwhelmed by the waters.  
As soon as the child was missed, search was made for him and his boy was found 
about fifty yards below where he went in, under a raft of tree limbs that had 
gathered in the stream and lodged there.  The bereaved family have the sincere 
sympathy of a large number of friends. – [Mont. Adv]

MESSRS. JESSE M. MAXWELL and JAS. A. VANHOOSE will go to Birmingham and engage 
in the wholesale grocery business, as successors to T. L. HUDGINS.  They are 
both reliable and prompt business man, and Tuskaloosa cannot well afford to 
lose them.  Birmingham gains two citizens.  We wish them all success. – 
[Tuskaloosa Clarion]

A horse at Georgetown, Ky., twice every day drives his master’s cow through 
the main street to water, and returns with her as promptly and carefully as a 
man or boy could do the same service.

A VERY ODD MONTH
The month of February, which set in Sunday, will be an odd month in several 
respects.  It will  have in the first place an odd number of days, owing to 
its leap year distinction.  It will have an odd number of Sundays (five), 
which is very odd for the shortest month in the year, and one of the Sundays 
will be Washington’s birthday.  It will begin on Sunday and end on Sunday, 
which is also odd. – The five Sundays correspond in date with the five Sundays 
in next August, which is odd again.  It is said that no one now living will 
ever see another February so odd; nor will the children, nor their children’s 
children – sufficient in itself to make the month interesting.  Many old 
superstitions are associated with the month, which originally had twenty-nays 
(sic) among the Romans in an ordinary year.  When the Roman Senate, however, 
decreed that the eighth month should be named after the Emperor Augustus, one 
day was taken from February and bestowed on August, giving it thirty-one days, 
in order that it might not be inferior to July, called after Julius Caesar. – 
February was the month for purification, from “februum” during which the 
Lupercalia, or Februali, were celebrated annually.  Lupercalus, or Februus was 
the god of fertility, whose appropriate sacrifices were dogs and goats.  After 
the offering, two youths, patricians, were conducted to the altar, when one of 
the priests touched their foreheads with a sword dipped in the blood of the 
victims, and another priest washed off the stain with the wool soaked in 
milk.  Then the priest’s sat down to a feast at which wine was bountifully 
furnished.  After rising from the board, they cut the skins of the sacrificed 
goats in pieces, and covered with some of these parts of their bodies, in 
limitation of the deity, represented as half clad in goat skins.  With the 
other pieces, converted into thongs, they ran through the streets, striking 
everybody they met, particularly women, who courted the blew, from the belief 
that it averted sterility and the pains of travail.  The ceremonies of the 
festival were supposed to symbolize the purification of the people. – [Mont. 
Adv.]

LAW FOR THE PEOPLE – [From the Tuskaloosa Times]
If the finder of lost property converts it to his own use – knowing the owner –
 he is guilty of larceny.
	
Our Chancery Court has jurisdiction to remove a minor’s disabilities of non-
age.
	
It is usury, in Alabama, to charge more than eight percent interest, per 
annum.  Usurious interest cannot be collected and if paid, may be deducted 
from the principal.  If the plea of usury is sustained, the plaintiff has to 
pay the cost, though he recovers the principal of his claim.
	
The general statutes of limitations do not run against married women nor 
minors, who ordinarily have a reasonable time to bring suit, after the removal 
of their disabilities.
	
Personal property, such as steam boilers, and the like, become fixtures when 
attached to land, and pass with conveyances of the realty, free of all 
incumbrances.
	
As a general rule, husband and wife are incompetent to testify for or against 
each other.

When notes secured by mortgage or other contract are assigned, the several 
assignees are entitled to priority of payment, according to the dates of their 
respective assignments, without regard to the time when the notes severally 
mature.

Under the Code, an assignment of a rent note carries with it the right to 
enforce all the landlord’s remedies for its collection.

An action of unlawful detainer can only be maintained when the relation of 
landlord and tenant exists.

It is a violation of the law, in Alabama, for a husband to strike his wife.

An attorney cannot become security on the bail bond of his client, in this 
State.

The owner of a vicious dog is liable in damages, for all ordinary injuries 
inflicted by the animal. 
	A B MCEACHIN

ONE THOUSAND A YEAR
	And you want me to tell you whether I can live on one thousand a year, 
or rather – as I have not been asked to do so – whether a girl can marry and 
live on it.  I will be honest with you, as you wish this matter for 
publication, and state that nay woman, no matter how high her position, or how 
elegant her education or tastes, can live happily and comfortably on that 
amount, provided that she gets the right man for a husband, and that they both 
truly love each other after marriage.
	Although young in years (pardon my not telling you the exact figures – 
a woman’s privilege, you know) I have studied human nature enough, and the 
lives of young married couples sufficiently, to feel sure that over one-half 
of those that marry are disappointed in each other afterwards.  This is a most 
unfortunate state of affairs, but both are equally to blame, the one for not 
showing a true nature, the other for not fully understanding it, before 
marriage. Women, I am sorry to say, are more given to deceit before marriage 
than men, and brutal treatment is frequently their reward.  If girls were only 
more natural there would be less trouble, women daily marry who are only 
dressmaker’s models, and even worse – invalids, who bring to their husbands 
all the cares and troubles of perpetual sickness, to add to their business 
anxieties.
	What man can respect, much less love, a woman who is a constant burden 
to him and who knowingly deceived him at the altar?  Before women enter the 
marriage state, they should be sure that their health is such that it will 
stand the trials that are to follow.  Men rarely deceive a woman in respect to 
their financial ability to support her handsomely, and this is downright 
wicked, for it may take a girl away from a home of comfort and luxury, to live 
in a garret.  Such marriages engender bitterness and ultimate divorce or worse.
	For that reason, a man who tells a woman honestly how much he can 
afford to give, without building “castles in the air,” which fade before the 
honeymoon, ought to receive her respect and confidence, for these are grand 
foundations to build on.  I contend that no happy condition of married life 
can exist without them.  And yet how many girls marry every week without 
knowing anything about their husbands, save that he is “splendid,” and “so 
handsome” and wake to find that what they need is not a “pretty boy with a 
dainty moustache,” but a man – a solid creation of flesh and blood, with an 
honest heart, a clear head and willing hands to labor for one he loves.  That 
is my idea of a husband.
	Such a man will never willfully deceive a woman, never be guilty of 
the meanness that corrupts so many men’s natures.  It would be paradise to 
live with such a man on one thousand dollars a year, to existing with one on 
ten times that amount.  This may read like romance, but it is stern reality.  
If girls will only take the trouble to investigate for themselves, they will 
see that money does not always bring happiness with it – “Happiness, our 
being’s end and aim.” as Pope so truthfully expresses it – for what is the 
world to a woman if her husband is not her lover, her friend, he counselor, 
her reliance in the hour of trouble, the sharer of her joys when her anxieties 
are o’er!
	But I am growing eloquent over the “good” husband.  Let us look on the 
opposite picture.  Of all things most likely to ruin a woman’s life, 
a “drinking” husband is the worst.  I an mot going into a dissertation on this 
subject.  All I have to say is, “Girls, never marry a man who drinks, if you 
value your happiness.”  A very dear friend of mine came to me once, and 
said, “What do you think?  I smelt liquor on Charley when I kissed him!  I 
immediately advised her not to marry him, for, I argued, if a man will not 
respect a woman enough to abstain while engaged, he will not do so after 
marriage.  And so it proved, she thought she couldn’t do without him, and so 
they married, and moved into an elegant mansion.  He was rich, but how long 
did it last; just three years, and now she is a widow, with a sickly child, 
and living off her parents! 
	Girls don’t be afraid to test your lovers.  If they are true and manly 
they will come out “like refined gold.”  Get his opinion on al the subjects 
that concern your married happiness.  Don’t trust to his doing as you wish 
after marriage, you had better find out whether his likes and dislikes suit 
you before hand, for married life is made up of mutual concessions, and you 
will have to do your share of giving way, which, for one that truly loves you, 
must be, indeed, a pleasure.  Another thing, if you don’t like tobacco, never 
marry a man who smokes or chews, for I know a woman whose husband made her 
life a terror to her by these disgusting practices.
	I don’t intend giving you any figures about this housekeeping 
business, for people’s taste differ.  Some would be content to live in a 
twelve dollar house, and keep a splendid table, others would prefer a twenty 
dollar house, and live on plainer food.
	There is no trouble about a man and wife living very comfortably on 
one thousand dollars a year, if the wife has any practical sense.  A fool or a 
sloven can’t do it.  “How is a man going to find such a woman out>” I hear 
some readers exclaim  “Very easily”  The fool will betray herself by her 
nonsensical replies to any sensible questions on this subject that you may ask 
her, and the sloven will exhibit her imperfections in her toilet.  A sloven’s 
hair is never tidy or well combed.  Neither will she brush her teeth 
carefully.  If she is too lazy to do these, her habits generally will be 
slothful, for if that which everybody can see is neglected, what can we expect 
of that which is hidden!  An untidy girl generally has dirty ears.  If she 
reads this, she will wash them, for a week, perhaps!  A cleanly man will 
notice these things without being told, but a slovenly woman will not; so, as 
the Bible says, “Let him who is filthy, be filthy still,” and so will his 
wife, and his children, and their children.
	Goodbye, Mr. Editor, and don’t consider that I have taken up to much 
space.  This subject is a glorious one, for it concerns the future welfare and 
happiness of the whole world.
	A PRACTICAL GIRL – [in Mont. Advertise]

The Scottsboro Herald says:  A number of horses have recently died about town 
very suddenly.  MR. J. M. M. DRAKE has had the misfortune to lose two within 
the last few days.  MRS. PHILLIPS lost one, MR. JORDAN one and Mr. J. E. BROWN 
has lost his fine grey family horse.  On hearing of this mortality and the 
suggestion that it most likely resulted from eating unsound corn, we examined 
the corn from which we were having a horse fed, and found that there was not 
exceeding one good, sound ear in twenty.  Let all beware lest they are visited 
with the misfortune of a loss of valuable stock.

A negro jumped from a second story window, 20 feet to the ground, at Uniontown 
a few days ago, escaping from arrest, and broke one of his arms and sustained 
internal injuries of a severe nature. 
BURRIS & BRO.  No. 49 Main Street Columbus, Miss.  We have now in store a full 
stock of general merchandise which we offer for sale very low, for the cash.  
Thankful for the liberal patronage heretofore extended to us, we hope by 
selling our goods much lower than in the past to be able to add largely to our 
already numerous list of patrons.  Call and see our mammoth stock.

SHELL & BURDINE, Wholesale and retail druggist’s,  Aberdeen, Mississippi. Are 
daily receiving at their Drug Store a very large stock of fresh goods of all 
kinds usually kept in a first class drug house, and will sell at bottom 
prices, for cash.  All we ask is to give us a trial and we guarantee you will 
not go away dissatisfied for we are determined to sell goods so low that it 
will astonish you.

JOHN D. MORGAN.  Wholesale and retail dealer in dry goods, staple and fancy 
groceries, hardware, wooden ware, willow ware, crockery ware, and tin ware.  
Boots and shoes, hats and caps.  Plantation supplies, etc. would announce to 
his friends and patrons of Lamar and Fayette Counties, that he has in store, 
and is daily receiving one of the largest and best selected stocks of goods in 
the city, and invites everybody to call before buying elsewhere and examine 
his immense stock.  It is no trouble to show goods, and when you look, you 
will be sure to buy for he keeps none but first class goods, and will not be 
under sold by any home in the city.  Columbus, Miss.  July 11th, 1879.  J. S. 
ROBERTSON is with the above house, and would be pleased to serve his many 
friends at anytime.

DR. J. D. RUSH, with ERVIN AND BILLUPS, successors to M. W. HATCH; dealers in 
drugs, medicines, whiskey, tobacco, cigars, &c.  Corner Main and Market 
Street.  Columbus, Mississippi.

NATHAN BROTHERS dealers in whiskies, brandies, wines, cigars, tobaccos and 
pipes.  Our Motto:  Quick Sales and Small Profits.  Columbus, Mississippi.

(engraving of possibly Santa Claus with huge ELGIN watch)
BUDER BROTHERS, watch makers, and manufacturing jewelers, and dealers in 
diamonds, fine watches, jewelry and silverware.  Repairing done neatly and 
warranted.  Under Gilmer Hotel, No. 43 Main ST, Columbus, Miss.

PAGE 3

VERNON CLIPPER
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 1880

For Rent or Sale.  Good farm of two hundred and ten acres, about seventy acres 
cleared; good dwellings, stables, well and spring.  Good fences with little 
improving, in two miles of Vernon.  A bargain will be given.  For terms apply 
to the editor of this paper.

For the celebrated Jamaica Cotton seed, call on COL. K. T. BROWN, at DR. W. A. 
BROWN’S office.  Price in print packages 50 cents.

A wrestle between two brothers at Evergreen last week resulted in the 
accidental death of one.

The Alabama Press Association will this year hold its meeting in Tuskaloosa.

“Tis but a step from the sublime to the ridiculous, but it is life’s journey 
back again.

Among the new United States Senators recently elected, on is an ex-page, 
GORMAN; one an ex-ox carter, PRYOR, and another an ex-wood-chopper, GARFIELD.

A crazy negro from the Jack place, near Burton’s Hill, was put in jail 
yesterday.  It is singular how many of them go crazy since the days of 
emancipation.  When they had plenty to eat, good clothes, and a good master, 
crazy negroes were almost unheard of. – [Eutaw Mirror]

From information received through Commissioner BRANYAN, it is believed that a 
young man by the name of STEWART, about 20 years of age, was killed on 
Saturday night last, near MCGAHA & COONS Mill on Luxapalilla.   His horse came 
home with a bullet hole in his saddle, and on going back on the road next 
morning the neighbors found blood and where something had been dragged along 
to the creek.  It may be that foul play has been done, or as some have 
suggested it may be done for a blind.  We are left in doubt but knowing the 
citizens as we do of that neighborhood we cannot suspect any one of being 
guilty of such a foul cowardly deed as that must have been if he is murdered.

The old ferry on Buttahatchie known as Noah’s Ferry is now being carefully 
attended to by M. W. LOYD, who is now the owner.  It has been unused for some 
time, and the road to, and beyond it is in fine order.  Success to you Mr. 
Loyd.

MR. MIRK STONE, of Pine Springs informs us of the sad fate of three negro 
children that were burned to death in MR. HOWELL’S kitchen nine miles north of 
Aberdeen.  The kitchen was burned to the ground.  The cause of the fire is 
unknown.

Columbus has a daily paper.  It is conducted by the Dispatch Publishing 
Company.  It is a new, neat, newsy democratic six column folic.  We wish it 
unbounded success.

Three wagons loaded with colored people passes through town, en route for 
Tuskaloosa, on Monday, to see and be as they say, cured by the so-
called “faith doctor.”

SAM SHIELDS, Esq. has gone to housekeeping.  Success to you, and your kind 
lady.  May peace, happiness and contentment continue with you.

Commissioners Court in session this week.

FINAL SETTLEMENT
State of Alabama, Lamar County
Probate Court, Feb. 3rd, 1880
Estate of WILLIAM PENNINGTON, deceased.  This day came ABNER PENNINGTON the 
administrator of said estate, and filed his statement, accounts, vouchers, and 
evidences for final settlement of his administration.  It is ordered that the 
9th day of March 1880 be appointed a day on which to make such settlement, at 
which time all persons interested can appear and contest the said settlement, 
if they think proper.
	ALEXANDER COBB, judge of Probate.

ANNOUNCEMENTS 

We are authorized to announce D. V. LAWRENCE a candidate for re-election to 
the office of County Treasurer, at the August election in 1880.

Under the following considerations I declare myself a candidate for Sheriff, 
&c. of Lamar County at the ensuing election.  1st.  I was born and raised a 
freeman in this county. 2nd.  By standing in defense of my country I was 
mangled by the enemies missiles.  3rd.  I was incarcerated in prison under 
false charges preferred against and finally ruined.  4th.  I am willing to 
submit my claims to a Convention of the Democratic Party.   Respectfully.  J. 
A. DARR

We are authorized to announce B. H. WILKERSON a candidate for the office of 
Sheriff and Tax Collector of Lamar County at the ensuing August election, 
subject to the action of the Democratic party.

The following is a list of the Grand and Petit Jury drawn for Lamar County, 
Ala., Spring Term 1880:
GRAND JURY
M. R. MORTON,   C. A. WHEELER,   W. F. ELLIOTT,   J. T. F. GILMER,   I. N. 
HENSON,   J. A. DAVISON,   M. W. LOYD,   J. W. WHITE,   T. C. JERNIGAN,   G. 
W. BARROW,   T. J. GENTRY, JOHN W. SHELTON,   ALBERT WILSON,   JAMES H. 
COOPER,   J. H. CLINE.
JURY NO. 1
W. C. WOODS,   C. P. STAP,   A. H. BURROW,   G. B. STEWART,  HUBE HOLLIS,   W. 
R. WEBB, W. H. NICHOLS,   R. G. EVANS,   J. R. BANKHEAD,   A. A. HILL,   J. S. 
BREWER,   A. J. PENNINGTON
	JURY NO. 2
T. J. MILFORD,   J. M. DAVIS,   B. M. GLOVER,   M. L. BEASLEY,   N. J. 
TRULL,   R. A. MOORE, W. F. PRATER,   JOHN S. WOFFORD,   SAMPS LOLLAR,   
NATHANIEL EDGEWORTH,   T. J. JACKSON,   J. W. RANDOLPH.
	Drawn 5th February, 1880 by
	ALEX. COBB, J. P.
	D. J. LACY, Sh’ff
	JAMES MIDDLETON, C. C.

Mont. Adv.:  A romantic marriage ahs just taken place at Tuskaloosa.  During 
the meeting of the conference of the M. E. Church in that city, some months 
ago, one of the ministers from North Alabama was the guest of the parents of 
MISS ALICE KELLY, an accomplished and highly esteemed young lady of the Oak 
City.  The minister was very favorably impressed with the many charming and 
lovable traits of the fair young lady, and becoming interested in her, 
remarked to her as he was getting ready to return to his home that he would 
send her a sweetheart if she desire to wed a worthy gentleman.  Miss Alice 
replied that if she were to meet and love a man of good character she would be 
willing to marry him.  On reaching his home in Morgan County, the minister 
called on JUDGE JONATHAN FORD, a prominent and popular citizen of Decatur, and 
a gentleman of great worth, and informed the Judge that he had selected a wife 
for him in the person of a most charming young lady of Tuskaloosa, also 
telling him that he had mentioned the subject to the lady, but gave no name.  
Upon the representations made to him by the minister, JUDGE FORD addressed a 
letter to MISS KELLY asking her to correspond with him.  In due time a reply 
was received.  Letter followed letter, photographs were exchanged, and finally 
the Judge proposed.  The lady accepted him, the wedding day was fixed, and at 
the appointed time Judge Ford appeared at the residence of the bride’s parents 
to claim her.  They had never met until the hour for the marriage ceremony, 
and upon meeting, both were pleased and fell desperately in love with each 
other upon sight.  The marriage took place, and it is said that a handsomer or 
happier couple were never made mad and wife within this sunny state,
	A sour and unhappy old bachelor once remarked that marriage was a 
lottery, and in nine cases out of every ten men drew blanks.  That this is 
untrue has been so often demonstrated that it is scarcely necessary to deny 
it, but we may be permitted to remark that it is not often we hear of such 
marriages as the one herein referred to.  Possibly in such cases both the 
husband and wife struggled hard to make each other happy, and the sincere wish 
of all good people will be that in the present case, nothing but love and 
cloudless skies may be their lot.  How strangely Cupid works in this world to 
perform his wonderful art of bringing happiness to human hearts?

The Birmingham Observer tells of a negro who was killed by a train on the A. 
G. S. road one night recently after taking out a $1,000 accident policy that 
day.

After a Texas jury had stood out for ninety-six hours the Judge got a verdict 
out of them in two minutes by sending them word that a circus had come to town.

Hotel.  The undersigned is prepared to accommodate boarders, either by day or 
the month at very reasonable rates.  Strict attention given to transient 
customers.  L. M. WIMBERLEY, Proprietor, Vernon, Ala.

CITATION NOTICE
The State of Alabama, Lamar County
In Chancery.  At Vernon, Alabama
9th District, Western Chancery Division
ANNA WALKER, by next friend, ELIJAH WOLSTONHOMES, Complaint
vs
GREEN WALKER, Defendant
In this cause, it is made to appear to the Register by the affidavit of D. J. 
MCCLUSKY, Solicitor for complainant that the defendant GREEN WALKER is a non 
resident of this State, and post office is unknown to complainant or her 
solicitor, and further, that, in the belief of said affiant, the defendant is 
over the age of twenty-one years.
	It is therefore ordered, by the Register, that publication be made in 
the Vernon Clipper a newspaper published in the county of Lamar once a week 
for four consecutive weeks, requiring him the said GREEN WALKER to plead, 
answer or demur to the bill of complaint in this cause by the 4th day of March 
A. D. 1880 or, in thirty days thereafter, a decree pro confesso may be taken 
against him.  Done at office, in vacation this 4th day of February 1880.
		JAS. M. MORTON, Register

Pictures made in cloudy and rainy as well as clear weather at ECHARD’S 
Photograph Headquarters at his gallery, Columbus, Miss.  8 Card Ferrotypes, 
for $1.00.  1 doz. Card Photographs for $2.50.  Special attention given to 
Family Groups and copying Old pictures to any size.

Family Groceries.  The undersigned has opened a family grocery store in the 
old Goodwin house on Main Street.  Where he will be able to furnish the county 
and town with everything usually kept in a first class house:  Such as bacon, 
lard, flour, sugar, coffee, molasses, tobacco, cigars, powder, lead, shot and 
a great variety of canned goods:  Such as pine apples, peaches, tomatoes, 
pickles, &c., &c.  Cheese and crackers in abundance, all of which I am 
determined to sell lower than they can be bought elsewhere.  Give me a call.  
No trouble to show goods.  Terms cash.  G. C. LAWRENCE

Cuban Chill Tonic is the great Chill King.  It cures Chills and Fever of every 
type, from the shaking Agues of the North to the burning Fevers of the Torrid 
Zone.  It is the great standard.  It cures Billiousness and liver Complaint 
and roots out diseases.  Try it – if you suffer it will cure you and give you 
health.  Sold by your druggists.  W. L. MORTON & BRO.

MALE AND FEMALE SCHOOL – Detroit, Lamar County, Ala., will commence, Jan. 19th 
1880 and continue eight months.  Tuition per month of 20 days, $1.50, $2.00, 
$2.50, $3.00.  Board can be obtained with private families at $7 per month.  
For particulars, address J. F. WHITE, Principal.

Remember when you visit Aberdeen, to go to the house of Louis Roy and examine 
his stock.  That popular house has a great name for integrity and honesty, and 
never uses humbug.  Every article of dry goods shoes and boots, clothing, 
hats, and fancy goods is fresh, and warranted to give satisfaction.

PARENTS READ THIS.  Nine-tenths of the sickness of childhood is caused by 
worms.  Thousands of children die yearly from worms in the stomach that could 
have been saved by the timely use of Parker’s Santonine Worm Lozenges.  They 
save thousands of children.  They drive out the worms without pain.  They 
cleanse the stomach, and make the little ones bloom and blossom as the rose.  
The are the finest and best medicine ever made.  Thousands of parents all over 
the land use nothing but Parker’s Lozenges.  Buy nothing but Parker’s.  Give 
no other Worm Medicine to children but Parker’s Lozenges.  They are the 
cheapest, best, and safest.  Sold by your druggists, W. L. Morton & Bro.

$5 to $20 per day at home.  Sample worth $5 free.  Address Stinson & Co., 
Portland, Maine.

J. L. RANSOM, of North Alabama with Settle & Kainnaird, manufacturers of and 
wholesale dealers in boots and shoes, Nashville, Tenn. Orders solicited and 
carefully filled.

GEO. W. RUSH with N. GROSS & CO., Columbus, Miss.  Wholesale and retail 
dealers in fancy dress, and staple dry goods & ready made clothing, boots, 
shoes, hats, notions, etc.  Will be glad to see his old friends and all new 
ones who may be pleased to call upon him.  No trouble to show goods, on the 
contrary, it will be a pleasure, whether you buy or not. Satisfaction 
guaranteed, as to articles bought and prices.

BILL HAMILTON with ROY & BRO., wholesale and retail dealer in dry goods, 
notions, clothing, boots, shoes, hats, &c.  Aberdeen, Miss.  Highest price 
paid for cotton.

ARRIVAL AND DEPARTURE OF U. S. MAILS
The Columbus Mail by way of Caledonia arrives Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturdays 
at 11 o’clock a.m.  Leave same days at 1 p.m.
FAYETTE MAIL 
Arrived on Wednesday and Saturday at 12 p.m. and leaves same days at 1 p.m.
MOUNT CALM MAIL
Leaves Wednesday at 7 a.m. arrives Thursday at 2 p.m.
PIKEVILLE MAIL
Arrives Fridays at 6 p.m., leaves Saturdays at 6 a.m.
SCHEDULE OF MOBILE & OHIO R. R.
Train leaves		6:30 am
Train arrives		9:30 am
Train leaves		3:20 pm
Train arrives		6:30 pm
Train goes through to Starkville on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays.
Leaves Aberdeen going South at 4 o’clock p.m., returns at 8 p.m.
Leaves Aberdeen going North at 7 o’clock a.m., return at 11 o’clock a.m.

MCQUISTON & HEISEN, Cotton Factors and Commission Merchants 96 & 98 Commerce 
St., Aberdeen, Miss.  Farmers will make money by letting MCQUISSTON & HEISEN 
sell their cotton when they come to the city.

R. A. HONEA & SON, Wholesale and retail dealers in staple and fancy groceries, 
Aberdeen, Miss.  We would respectfully inform our friends, and the public 
generally, that we are at our old Stand next door to J. W. ECKFORD & Bro. (Old 
Presbyterian Block) and have in store and will keep constantly on hand a large 
and well selected stock of staple and fancy groceries.  Bagging and ties, 
corn, oats, wheat bran, &c., which we will sell at rock bottom figures for 
cash.  R. F. RAY, of Detroit, Ala. is salesman.

MEDICAL
M. W. MORTON.  W. L. MORTON.  DR. W. L. MORTON & BRO., Physicians & Surgeons.  
Vernon, Lamar Co, Ala.  Tender their professional services to the citizens of 
Lamar and adjacent country.  Thankful for patronage heretofore extended, we 
hope to merit a respectable share in the future.  Drug Store.

DR. G. C. BURNS, Vernon, Ala. Offers his professional services to the citizens 
of Vernon and vicinity.

Masonic:  Vernon, Lodge No. 389, meets on the 1st Saturday of each month, at 7 
p.m.

PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
FRANCIS JUSTICE, Attorney at Law and Solicitor in Chancery, Pikeville, Marion 
Co., Alabama Will practice in all the Courts of the 3rd Judicial District.

SAMUEL J. SHIELDS, Attorney at Law and Solicitor in Chancery, Vernon, Ala., 
Will practice in the counties of Lamar, Fayette, Marion, and the Courts of the 
3rd Judicial District.

JNO. D. MCCLUSKY, Attorney at Law and Solicitor in Chancery, Vernon, Ala.  
Will practice in the counties of Lamar, Fayette, Marion, and the Courts of the 
3rd Judicial Circuit.  Special attention given to the collection of claims, 
and matters of administration.

EARNEST & EARNEST.  W. S. EARNEST    GEO. S. EARNEST.  Attorneys at Law and 
Solicitors in Chancery, Birmingham & Vernon, Ala.  Will practice in the 
Counties of this Judicial Circuit.

NESMITH & SANFORD.  T. B. NESMITH, Vernon, Ala.  JOHN B. SANFORD, Fayette C. 
H.  Attorneys at Law.  Partners in the Civil practice in the counties of 
Fayette and Lamar.  Will practice separately in the adjoining counties.  THOS. 
B. NESMITH.  Solicitor for the 3rd Judicial Circuit.  Vernon, Lamar Co., Ala.

ALEXANDER COBB & SON, Dealers in ready made clothing, dress goods, jeans, 
domestics, calicoes, silks, satins, millinery, embroidery, notice, &c.  Hats, 
caps, boots, shoes, saddles, bridles, leather, &c.  Tin, wooden, Hard and 
glass wares, crockery, &c.  Salt, flour, meal, bacon, lard, soda, coffee, 
molasses, &c.

LAMAR DIRECTORY 
County Court – Meets on the 1st Monday in each month.
Probate Court  - Meets on 2nd Monday in each month.
Commissioner’s Court – Meets on the 2nd Monday in February, April, July, and 
November.

REPRESENTATIVES
W. A. MUSGROVE and I. H. SANDERS

COUNTY OFFICERS
ALEXANDER COBB – Judge of Probate
D. J. LACY, Sheriff and Tax Collector
W. G. MIDDLETON, Circuit Clerk
JAMES M. MORTON, Register in Chancery
D. V. LAWRENCE, Treasurer
J. E. PENNINGTON, Tax Assessor
W. T. MARLER, Coroner

COMMISSIONERS
W. G. RICHARDS			W. M. STONE
J. J. BRANYAN				J. A. COLLINS


TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION
One copy one year		$1.50
One copy six months	$1.00
Rates of Advertising
One inch, one insertion		$1.00
One inch, each subsequent insertion	    .50
One inch, twelve months		10.00
One inch, six months		  7.00
One inch, three months		  5.00
Two inches, twelve months		15.00
Two inches, six months		10.00
Two inches, three months		  7.00
Quarter Column 12 months		35.00
Half Column 12 months		60.00
One Column, 12 months		100.00
One Column, 3 months		35.00
One Column, 6 months		60.00
Professional Cards $10.00
Special advertisements in local columns will be charged double rates.  
Advertisements collectable after first insertion.  Local notices 10 cents per 
line.  Obituaries, tributes of respect, etc. making over ten lines, charged 
advertising rates.

$72 a week, $12 a day at home easily made.  Costly outfit free.  Address True 
& Co., Augusta, Maine.

Bring your job printing to the CLIPPER.  We print all kinds of blanks, deeds, 
mortgages, law briefs, cards, tags, circulars, bill heads, letter heads, note 
heads, statements, poster work.  We propose to do all kinds of job printing as 
neat and as cheap as any city, either North or South, and our work is equal to 
any.  When you want any kind of job printing done, please don’t fail to 
examine our specimens before going elsewhere.  Blank Waive Notes for sale at 
this Office.

The Light Running New Home (picture of sewing machine).  A model of 
simplicity, Strength and Beauty, Never gets out of order.  A pattern of 
perfection.  Makes no noise.  Does not fatigue the operator.  Latest.  
Improved.  Best.  Agents wanted.  Johnson, Clarke, & o., 30 Union Square, New 
York City.  Orange, Mass.

PAGE 4

THE SOUTHERN FARMER

Food for a Run-Down Horse – A farmer of large experience says:  “A mixture of 
one bushel each of corn, oats, and barley, ground together, mixed with a 
bushel of oil meal, and given twice a day, two quarts at a time, is the 
thing!” To which we add, give him a good currying and brushing two or three 
times a day in addition to his feed.

Pork! Pork! Pork! is what many farmers live on the whole year round.  Poultry 
can be raised an fattened as cheaply as pork.  Why not pay more attention to 
the fattening of poultry for the table.  It is much healthier to have changes 
of food.  If farmers would fatten a young steer or a sheep, the change of diet 
would be much healthier.  If all the meat cannot be used by one family, 
exchange with neighbors.

French mode of killing poultry:  Open the beak of the fowl, and with a sharp-
pointed, narrow-bladed knife make an incision at the back of the roof of the 
mouth, which will divide the vertebrae, and cause instant death, after which 
the fowls are hung up by the legs.  They will bleed perfectly, with no 
disfigurement; picked while warm, and if desired, scalded.  In this way the 
skin presents a more natural appearance than when scalded.

The following valuable recipes for curing bacon and hams comes to mind as we 
think of the approaching winter.  Rub the hams thoroughly with a mixture of 
molasses and saltpeter.  The saltpeter may be pulverized and applied with the 
hands to the flesh sides, then pack in a trough cask and let it remain three 
days, and then add water sufficient to cover the whole.  The quantity of salt 
to be added may be determined by the length of time the meat is to remain in 
the brine, and the quantity of meat.  A single handful is enough for a common 
sized pig’s ham to remain in the brine two weeks.  The smoke should be from 
green hard wood; and it should be smoked until the meat is the color of 
copper.  Then the hams may be kept the year round by enclosing them in a paper 
bag and hanging in a cold place.

TURNIPS FOR HOGS – Turnips are not to be despised as an article of food for 
horses, cattle, sheep, and hogs; but not for their nutritive value, fully 
ninety percent of their composition being water.  Mixed feed is valuable for 
all animals, and the turnip is probably useful for its diuretic and antiseptic 
properties, and might be fed to hogs in moderate degree with some advantage.  
There is, in fact, a growing belief than an exclusive corn diet is neither 
healthy for the hog nor profitable to the breeder, and the theory has lately 
been advanced that the hog cholera has its origin in an exclusive corn diet.  
At all events, some of the most successful hog raisers find it advisable to 
add to a mixed feed, or else be careful to supply charcoal, and other 
preventives, and which the hog, it is significant to note, greedily devours as 
if his system craved them.  The Western Rural Says:  “It is a mistaken policy 
to feed hogs on corn only, when keeping them in standing condition.  Corn is 
principally carbonaceous, that is, fattening.  Hogs fed on corn alone, on 
reaching a certain stage of fatness, will put on no more fat.  When it is 
desirable to delay the process of putting on fat, with the belief that the 
late market will be the best, the hogs should have nitrogenous food, or that 
containing a large proportion of the phosphates, such as threshed oats, or 
food containing a portion of wheat bran, both of which are bone and flesh 
formers; the growth will then be continuous and unchecked.  It is better to 
mix the diet sufficiently to develop every part of the animal;  this also 
induces a healthy condition.  In this way the fattening process may be 
continued much longer than when the hogs are fed on corn alone.

THE DIMINISHED WHEAT YIELD – About the beginning of this century the average 
yield of wheat in New York was from 20 to 30 bushels per acre; now it is 
hardly 12 bushels.  Fifty years ago the yield per acre in Ohio used to be 26 
bushels; now it is not more than 13 bushels.  And in the New England Sates the 
disparity between the yields of the past and present is still more striking.  
The cause of this diminution in the yield lies in the practice followed by our 
farmers for years, of carrying off every harvest the fertilizing ingredients 
taken up by the various crops, without returning to the soil any equivalent.  
In the course of time the available amount of plant-food in the soil has been 
so lessened by this practice that, in many places there is not enough of it to 
yield crops sufficiently heavy to pay the expenses of cultivating them.  By a 
proper system of tillage and manuring, however, this land can be soon restored 
to a profitable condition of fertility.  In England, during the reign of 
Elizabeth, the average yield of wheat is said to have been only five bushels 
per acre, whereas now the yield is from 28 to 30 bushels, and this vast stride 
in advance has been made chiefly within the present century.  With the lesson 
taught by European experience before them, our farmers in the old-settled 
states will doubtless speedily restore the fertility of the soil whenever a 
liberal course of tillage and manuring will pay better than purchasing in the 
West lands which of years will need no such expensive treatment.

TOPICS FOR THE HOUSEHOLD
A girl that can cook a good square meal is better than two that can personate 
Josephine in “Pinafore.” – [Dr. J. G. Holland]

CORN BREAD – Take two quarts of Indian meal, one pint of bread sponge, water 
enough to wet it.  Mold in a half pinto of wheat flour, a tablespoonful of 
salt.  Let it rise, and knead a second time.  Bake an hour and a half.

CORN BREAD, No. 2 – Take three teacupfuls of corn meal, on eof wheat flour, 
two teaspoonfuls of cream of tartar.  Mix well while dry.  Dissolve one 
teaspoonful of soda in warm water.  Mix to a thin batter, and bake in a quick 
oven three-fourths of an hour.

Single cream is cream that has stood on the milk twelve hours.  It is best for 
tea or coffee.  Double cream stands on its milk twenty-four hours, and cream 
for butter frequently stands forty-eight hours.  Cream that is to be whipped 
should not be butter cream lest in whipping it change to cutter.

CUSTARD PIES WITHOUT MILK – Boil together five eggs, five tablespoonful of 
sugar, and a little salt.  Pour one pint of boiling water, stirring briskly 
while adding the water.  Flavor with spices most pleasing to the taste, and 
complete the pie the same as other custards.  The quantity is sufficient for 
two.

CORN FRITTER PUDDING – A teacupful of milk, three eggs, a pint of green corn 
grated, a little sugar, and as much flour as will form a batter.  Beat the 
eggs, yolks and whites, separately.  To the yolks, add  the corn, sugar, milk, 
and flour enough to form the batter.  Beat the whole well.  Stir in the 
whites, and drop the batter a teaspoonful at a time into hot lard.

BUCKWHEAT PANCAKES – Mix a large cupful of lukewarm milk with about a quarter 
of a pound of buckwheat flour.  Add to this three eggs and a little more milk 
to form it into a smooth batter.  Let it stand in a warm place for an hour.  
Add a teaspoonful of baking powder, and fry as usual.  Serve rolled up with 
sugar and lemon juice.

PICKLED OYSTERS – Take of oysters six quarts, salt, four tablespoonfuls; 
vinegar, half a pint; of black pepper, whole, allspice, and mace, each two 
tablespoonfuls; of cloves, two dozen.  Drain all the liquor from the oysters, 
add the spice to it.  Boil fifteen minutes, skimming carefully, then put in 
the oysters and boil till they are done, which will be when they are nicely 
plumped.

CORN BREAD NO. 3 – Take two quarts of corn meal wet with three pints of warm 
water.  Add a tablespoonful of yeast, the same of salt, two of sugar.  Let it 
stand in a warm place five hours.  Then add one and a half teacups of flour 
and a half pint of warm water.  Let it rise again an hour and a half.  Then 
pour it into a well-greased pan and when light, bake it in a hot oven.  It is 
best cold.

CABINET PUDDING – One-quarter of a pound of butter and one and a half pound of 
granulated sugar beaten to a cream.  Add the well-beaten yolks of five eggs 
and one-half0cupful of milk.  Then half a pound of flour, with the whites of 
five eggs.  Lastly half a pound of seeded and chopped raisins, with a quarter 
of a pound of well-washed and dried currants.  The fruit must be floured 
before mixing.  Use a buttered mold or floured bag.  Boil three hours.  Then 
plunge quickly into cold water.  Turn it out at once to prevent sticking.  
Serve hot with sweet sauce.

PRESSED CHICKEN – Two chickens boiled until the meat leaves the bones easily.  
Then pull to pieces and chop fine, letting the liquor in which they were 
cooked, boil away until only a cupful remains.  About half as much ham as 
chicken is then added, roll two soda crackers, season highly and pour the 
stock over.  Mix all well together, put in a deep, long pan, pressing down 
hard with the hand.  Fold a napkin several times over the top and put on a 
weight.  This should be prepared the day before using, when it will slice down 
easily.  I examined my pickles which are cucumbers made sweet, after the 
following recipe.  To one gallon of vinegar, add one quart of water, five 
pounds of sugar, a tablespoonful of salt, one stick of cinnamon.  Pour over 
boiling hot, let stand ten days, then pour over the liquor and boil again, 
after which they are ready to be set away for us.  I found them all right.  
[Mrs. Endicott] 

ARE EGGS MEAT?
Vegetables will rejoice at a decision lately given at Leeds, England, but the 
stipendiary magistrate.  The question arose upon the seizure of a number of 
eggs stated to be unsound.  The solicitor for the defense objected to a 
decision against his clients on the plea that eggs were not “meat.”  According 
to the statute, it appears that the articles subject to examination and 
condemnation are set down as any “animal, carcass, poultry, game, flesh, fish, 
fruit, vegetables, corn, and so forth.  After a lengthened argument on both 
sides, the magistrate felt compelled to dismiss the summons, although he 
expressed an opinion that it was most desirable that the sale of unsound eggs 
should be stopped.  The decision, as we have said, will be satisfactory to at 
least one section of the community.  It has been the custom for vegetarians to 
place eggs in the same category as milk, and both these articles are freely 
partaken of by those who pin their faith to a purely vegetable diet.  To the 
rest of the public the result of the inquiry will not be so satisfactory. 
Although, as the defendant’s solicitor states, “a bad egg carried its own 
condemnation,” it must be recollected that there are various degrees of 
badness, and that many a doubtful egg may be mixed up in puddings and other 
forms of cookery with, at least, the prospect of injury to delicate digestions.

THE CARDIFF GIANT OUTDONE
The Cardiff Giant and all other fictitious or fabulous stone men have been 
cast in the shade by a recently reported discovery at Gaza.  The Arabs, 
quarrying stone a little distance from the town, unearthed a marble figure of 
a man of gigantic size.  The figure is fifteen feet in height, weight twelve 
hundred pounds, and perfectly proportioned.  The head is covered with long 
ringlets that fall upon the shoulders, and the face is majestic.   There is no 
inscription or device either on the figure or pedestal, and the discovery is 
left open to conjecture.  By some it is supposed to be a dethroned Philistine 
God – probably Baal or Bel.  Others are at liberty to claim it to be a heroic 
statue of Sampson, who carried off the city'’ gates and performed other feats 
of strength in that country, while others may regard it as the petrified body 
of Goliath of Gath if they choose.  If it had not turned up in Syria where 
incredulity in relics is not to be tolerated, there would be a strong 
suspicion that it is a modern fraud.

The editor of the Frankfort (Ky.) Yoemen accuses a Louisville paper of “eating 
dirt,” to which the latter replied:  “Then he had better keep out of our way 
when we are hungry.  We might swallow him, and although he is bogus, he would 
probably pass.  He himself eats so much dirt that the hills around Frankfort 
are likely to lose their altitude.”

NOT BY CHANCE
Perhaps in some isolated instances a man may become wealthy through a series 
of circumstances very much resembling “luck” bust as a rule, those who wold 
enjoy success must work hard for it.  Twenty clerks in a store, twenty hands 
in a printing office, twenty apprentices in a ship-yard, twenty young men in a 
village – all want to get on in the world and expect to do so.  One of the 
clerks will become a partner, and make a fortune.  One of the compositors will 
own a newspaper, and become an influential citizen.  And one of the 
apprentices will become a master builder.  One of the young villagers will get 
a handsome farm and live like a patriarch – but which one is the lucky 
individual!  Lucky!  There is rarely any luck about it.  The young man who 
will distance his competitors is he who masters his business, who preserves 
his integrity, who lives cleanly and purely, who devotes his leisure to the 
acquisition of knowledge, who gains friends by deserving them, and who saves 
his spare money.  There are some ways to fortune shorter than this old dusty 
highway; but the staunch men of the community, the men who achieve something 
really worth having, good fortune, good name, and serene old age, all travel 
along in this road.

THREE KISSES BY TELEPHONE
	The Harrisburg (Pa.) Telegraph relates a good story of the telephone 
as having occurred between three young ladies of that city and the operator at 
Philadelphia.
	Manager Chute of the Western Union Telegraph Office invited a party of 
ladies and gentlemen to the office to witness the workings of the telephone.  
Among the party were three young ladies who were delighted with the way the 
operators at Philadelphia and Pittsburgh could be hear talking to each other.  
A conversation was carried on between Harrisburg and Philadelphia, and toward 
its close the operator in the Quaker City asked who was present at Harrisburg, 
and was answered.  “Three young ladies.”  “I’ll send each a kiss,” said the 
telephonist, and directly afterward could be heard the sound of three kisses, 
just as natural as anything could be.  That may have suited Philadelphia, but 
it is nevertheless true that the young ladies looked disappointed.  They 
thought it was going to be the real thing, and their mouths were set for it.

FIGHTING A BULL WITH AN AX – [Richland (Iowa) Special]
While R. D. Hooker, of Richland, was engaged in chopping pumpkins for his 
stock, and was on one knee, paying no attention to his cattle, without warning 
a bull came at him striking him on the right side and shoulder and prostrating 
him on the ground.  Though severely bruised and hurt, Mr. Hooker got on his 
feet before the animal had time to make a second attack, and, as it rushed at 
him, struck it with an ax, just under the horn and above the eye.  The blow, 
however, seemed to have little effect on the angry beast, stopping it for a 
moment.  It again pitched at Hooker, one horn goring him in the arm and the 
other inflicting a wound on the face.  By this time the case looked desperate, 
but as the animal came at him the fourth or fifth time Hooker managed to plant 
a blow on his forehead that felled it to the ground, and before it had 
recovered sufficiently to renew the attack, he had got out of its reach.

ADS – WILL COME BACK AND TRANSCRIBE LATER – 


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