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This file was contributed and copyrighted by: Michael V. Sims < michaelvsims@nyc.rr.com> ================================================================================ April 2002 Autobiographical Sketch by Charles Etchison Lavender, M.D., page transcribed by Michael Vaughn Sims from photocopy April 20, 2002 Autographical Sketch by Charles Etchison Lavender, M.D. Sylvan Grove Lowndes Co. Alabama 1832 June Autobiographical Sketch The following manuscript is a short and imperfect history of one whose life has little claim to the interest of any but himself, of one born and partly reared in the midst of ob[s]curity; whose patrimonial fortune, with the exception of a fair untarnished character and an independent and patriotic soul, stern fate consigned to wreckless [sic] devastation, by unhallowed hands, long 'ere his humble name was reechoed by the little hills of Ninety Six. Yet whose own exertions, aided by those of the most indulgent of parents, have carried him through many chequered scenes of human life. Rising up from the lowest glen on Enoree with unremitted exertions he has ascended by regular gradations from craig to craig, the hill of science. Now almost breathless and exhausted, clamboring along the rugged steep; now with extatic [sic] enjoyment reposing on Elysian plains, or promenading the verdent fields of knowledge; plucking from every hedge its tempting flowers; breathing balmy sephyrs [sic] exhaled from the delicious recesses of Scientia's bowers; and feasting on choice intellectual ambrosia. Many pages in the great book of nature has he scanned, several chapters in that noble volume has he read. Yet many still remain to be read by him. Many are yet to be unsealed. Few classes are there in society with which he has not mingled. With humble peasantry was drawn his earliest breath. Their manners, their pursuits; their hopes, their fears; their native simplicity, their want and their competencies, their respect for superiors and their independence of soul; their many faults and their many virtues are all to him alike familiar. Again in classic lore he has seen the buds of genius unfold to the genial warmth of the sun of science. Admired the nobleness of many a magnanimous youth; deplore the untimely fate of youthful companions, whose very vitals have been rent assunder by the ruthless ravages of the fell monster 'Disipation." He has ever cherished in the very warmest recesses of his heart the pearly spark of disinterested friendship, and fanned it into a golden flame. While at the same time he has never been insensible to the pure and holy breathings of a still warmer Emotion. Nor have his aspirations received a boundary here. No. In the "Ecula[?] Academica," while passing the grades of his medical Education he has mingled with the renowned of his country. Those who now stand conspicuous on the hill of science and tower of fame, and whose names and glory time will consecrate, have honored him with their friendship and attention. This has given a new impulse to his honest aspirations; to make himself worthy [of] such distinguished respect. Never to sully a name, which if ever recorded, must be by his own honest exertions. Having just received the benedictions of his Alma Mater; having just emerged from the halls of the university, and set up in the world upon his own responsibility as a practitioner of Medicine, a new scene has opened before him. His leisure hours have indulged the contemplation of scenes through which he has passed in the short span of less than 22 years. In those moments of relaxation from the arduous and responsible duties of his profession and from severer studies, have the following pages been penned. No wonder then if the style should be simple and unstudied. It is an honest and unvarnished tale. No polished drama will grace the humble story. Nor is it right it should. The writer will be its only intended reader. And although not worth the formality of a seal, it is, and in all probability will remain a stranger to all human eyes but those that witnessed its birth. And true, Aetas, quae fert omnia, which must lay low the head which dictates, must still the throbbing heart that fills, must paralize the hand that records, and dim the eye that reads the deeds, the thoughts, the emotions contained in this humble scroll, will say it likewise to moulder by his side, In the Tomb of Forgetfulness! Chas. E. Lavender Sylvan Grove May 16th 1832 What! shall I re-se[?] the story of my infancy? Shall I reiterate the blissful scenes of childhood's hours? Shall I travel back on the wings of fancy, and retrospect the meanderings of my early youth? Oh! how delightful to contemplate the variegated scenes, the many adventures of former years; while pleasure swelled my tender bosom, and happiness without alloy reigned within the peaceful soul of my innocent childhood. Before the feeling of disappointment was known; before the thrill of anxiety had caused my heart to palpitate. While yet my tender mind was a stranger to the sensation of a painful emotion; yea while yet my conscience had never experienced a pang, or knew how to inflict a wound. 'Twas then that rapture filled my soul, that happiness was mine! 'Twas then that Nature's beauties shone in all their loveliness and splendor. How lovely, how transcendently gay and cheerful appeared the bright morning sun, as he raised his shining face above the eastern horison [sic], and shot his golden beams across the wide Atlantic, greeted by the enrapturing carols of a warbling multitude! How delightful the scene, when leaving tired Nature to her calm repose; the bright ruler of the day lulled himself to rest on ocean as bosom while the sweetly warbling throng chanted a requiem to their deity! Oh happy days were these indeed! Sweet hours of my innocent childhood! Though past and gone forever, yet how dear your recollection. Yes, though [l]ong since buried in the ocean of Eternity, yet are ye fresh in my memory, your recollection yet gladdens my heart. Ye are recorded on the table of my remembrance, and will never be erased. Yet it affords me satisfaction again to record you on this humble scroll. As the humble place of my nativity, I duly regard the shady banks of Enoree in the district of Spartanburgh and state of South Carolina; where I was born on the 9th of August 1810, of poor but respectable parentage. I was the second child and oldest son of my father Simeon Lavender who was also the oldest son of my grandfather Charles Lavender, the son of Wm. Lavender, whose father Allen Lavender, my great great grandfather from the best accounts I am able to obtain, came over from England to Virginia about the first settling of the colony. On the breaking out of the war between England and America, which eventuated in the acknowledgement of our Independence, my grandfather then a youth, entered the army as a volunteer under the command of the great Washington, under whom he continued faithfully to serve his county till the disbanding of the army in 1782. He was a brave and valiant soldier, ardently attached to the cause of his country; of a manly form and iron constitution. I have been respectably informed by many who knew him well, that for manly appearance and bodily strength he was not surpassed by any in the country where he lived. He was rather addicted to personal combat altho naturally of a friendly and affable disposition. He would bear an insult himself which he would not suffer offered to his friend. He would never suffer a stranger imposed upon with impunity. He was fond of sport and amusement often to his disadvantage. I have heard numerous anecdotes of him which all go to prove that he was an honest, brave, and magnanimous man. He could stand erect and place his hand on a beam or fence as high as his head, (about 6 ft.) and leap over it. He shared the dangers of many a hard fought battle, and aided in reaping the laurels of many a glorious victory. He stood and fought upon the bloodstained banks of the Brandywine on the ever memorable 11th September. He was with Washington in his retreat over the delaware in '77, endured all the hardships of that trying campaign, crossed over the delaware on the night of the 25 December, and as an American Soldier in that day that tried the souls of men, without shoes on his feet, and badly clothed, rushed forward to glorious victory; while the trickling crimson from his wounded feet, stained with blood the snowy plains of Trenton. He continued a regular soldier in the cause of freedom, and on the 17 Oct. witnessed the surrender of Lord Cornwallis at Yorktown in Virginia. At the close of the war he returned to his paternal estate in Virginia. But oh, what disolation [sic]! The terrible hand of the savage distroyers [sic] had been there. Nothing that could be distroyed [sic] had survived the devastating ravages of marauding British and their tory allies. His friends and relations were not there. Many of them had perished in the glorious cause of freedom. Others had moved to distant climes. The ashes of his former mansion had been scattered on the four wings of the wind. His servants and other movable property had enriched the thieves and pucilanimous [sic] tory. His corn and cattle had been feloneously plundered to feed the debased slaves of tyrants, the enemies of rational Liberty. His paternal farms, once covered [with] sportive flocks and herds, and wheat and corn, then smiled in plenteousness and joy; now robbed of all animal and vegetable life. His fields had long since exchanged their luxuriant crops of golden grain for a gloomy attire of broom sedge and rough unsightly briars. One lovely old servant yet remained to tell the mournful story. His age and infirmities had alone protected him! The veteran soldier rejoicing in the thought that his country was free, and longing to see it happy, soon beat his sword into a glittering ploughshare, and his dagger into a pruning hook. Soon again his fields smiled with plenty; the little hills rejoiced with sportive flocks, and the vales reechoed the joyful sound of lowing herds and bleating lambs. Believing that it "was not good for man to be alone," he listened to the soothing voice of conjugal affection, confirmed the matrimonial vow and settled in Virginia; here my father was born July 1st 1787. In a few years he moved down into North Carolina and finally into Edgefield District South Carolina. Here shortly after his arrival and before he had settled his family, he was suddenly snatched from their bosom and their protection, and from all sublimary things by a strike of Electricity, leaving my grandmother in a most disolate [sic] situation, without a home and illy [sic] provided for the support of a number of small childern, the eldest of which my father was only 14 years of age and the youngest was born the day after the fatal event. Shortly after my grandfather's death, grandmother removed of the country, and settled in Spartanburgh Dist. formerly old Ninety Six. Having fallen into dishonest hands, grandfather's estate, though small, was lost to his distressed widow and little orphans, who were for years exposed to many hardships and privations. My father being deeply afflicted with white swelling in early youth it was the intention of his unfortunate parent to give him a liberal education, his premature death however prevented his receiving more than a common school afforded. Endowed with a disposition naturally gay and cheerful, my father strove to forget his misfortunes and made every honest exertion to improve the shattered hopes of his family. About his 22nd year he was joined in holy wedlock to my mother who was Miss Mary McCrary, daughter of Archibald McCrary, a native of Virginia, and of Irish descent. G.father McCrary was raised familiar with the hardships of a soldiers life. He was one of the Virginia blues, under the command of George Washington in the old French and Indian war. He was one of the few survivors at the defeat of general Braddock; on the 9th June 1756, then in the 17th year of age. He was a regular soldier through the revolutionay struggle. He was in many a hard fought battle and made many narrow escapes with his life. He like my g.father Lavender lost his property by the ravages of the tories, of whom he ever cherished the most indignant feeling. His character has ever been that of an honest Americal soldier, contending for Liberty and for glory. [ed] -[?]. He still lives an honest soldier of the Cross, having been an exemplary member of the church of christ for many years. He is now about ninety four year of age! I saw him about 5 years ago. Time has whitened his locks, but has little impaired his sight, his form is dignified, and his statu[r]e perfectly erect. He converses, walks, and rides on horseback with all the sprightliness of youth! May kind Providence add many happy years to his already lengthened Life!! And may I yet see him again to talk of older times! A few years since the old gentleman was laid as'twas thought on his death bed; he told the following anecdote with great satisfaction. While lying in winter quarters, he received a written challenge from a courageous and desperate Loyalist to meet him alone at a certain road some miles from camp at a certain hour. He applied to his superiour officer for permission of absence, which was granted with great reluctance, to see so brave a man thus exposed. But he who had been reared in the midst of battles, and had never shrunk from braving danger, where his country's or his own reputation was at stake, appeared at the appointed time and place. No sooner had he made his appearance, than his furious antagonist mounted a fine charger, rushed from his concealment, made a disperate [sic] blow at his watchful antagonist which he evaded, then leveling his musket which also missed its aim he dashed off at full speed. The 'American soldier' then in his turn leveling his musket, fired upon his flying enemy. Several buck shot took effect. He was taken and brought to camp that night by the American scouts and was delivered to grand father McC to receive his sentence, expecting the most ignomenious death, what -[?] his surprise, when the magnanimous American, took him by the hand, led him to his tent, dressed his wounds, and suffered not a hair of his head to be hurt!! Chapter II. My father now retired to a small lieced [sic] farm on the banks of Enoree, after which he took several lieces [sic], and finally purchased a plantation between the rivers Tiger and Enoree, and between the James' and Furgusson's creeks. Here were past [sic] the happy days of my infancy, and pleasant scenes of my childhood, the happiest of my life in innocent mirth, gayety [sic], merriment. My capacity for enjoyment was full without the bitter drop of discontentment. My attachments were always ardent, my passions strong, and my disposition naturally cheerful and gay. Yet in all this there is nothing but what I have seen in hundreds since. My inclination for books was always strong. I learned to read at an early period. I commenced and read with avidity all the books in our little library. Some little tales, a hymn book, testament etc. The first book I recollect to have bought was [Weems?] Life of Washington to which I was particularly attached, and which I read and reread so frequently that I could repeat several pages by memory, some of which I yet recollect. When I was 6 or 7 years old, being at court with my pa and seeing a copy of [Weems'?] moral looking glasses sold by the author then on a visit to the South, I was very anxious to read one. In the evening I was carried to the revd. Gentleman's apartments, and was introduced to him. He took me kindly by the hand, shewed me many of his books. I asked for his 'Looking glasses,' which he handed me, at the same time pronouncing a fine diction, and giving me a great deal of fatherly advice, to pursue that which was good and shun that which is evil etc. the substance of which I still remember. Our family being of very moderate circumstances, I was brought up to labor in the farm from my childhood. My leisure hours however were spent in reading nights, Sundays etc. Pa to encourage me, had bought me several new books, such as histories, biographies etc. mostly american, in reading which I took the greatest delight and interest. During the winter season I was sent to an English school taught by a gentleman by the name of Wm. Jones a most excellent teacher, to whom I was greatly attached; and who shewed me a great deal of kindness and attention. It was always my ambition to stand head of my class, which by means of constant application and hard study I was generally fortunate in doing. In my 14th year I left no time from school, at the close of which I was thought to be an excellent English scholar; was pronounced master of arithmetic, several works in which I had 'gone through.' Altho my ambition to excel in literature, or at least to stand conspicuously in literary acquirement, had just been awakened, yet it was thought I had acquired a sufficient education for a farmer. I accordingly reentered upon my career in the field, in the tactics of which I became soon expert, as to leave but little hope that it would not be my employment for life. My time was now spent as most boys' in the country is, in ploughing, howing [sic] etc. etc., in which I was ambicious [sic] to excel, as in everything I undertook. Hunting and fishing I sometimes engaged in, but such amusements were not so fascinating to me, as to most youths. My leisure hours were mostly as usually spent in reading, as I had now a pretty smart little library; I became quite familiar with modern history, especially of my own country. At the same time, from reading and from the conversation of old revolutionary soldiers, I imbibed a love of my native country, of freedom and american liberty, a reverence for her sages and heroes, so deep and fervent, that they will cease to flow through my soul alone when my bosoms core ceases to propel the vital fluid though my body! About this time, however, my beloved mother, kind heaven pardon and bless her honest delusion! fancying in me, as most indulgent mothers do in their children, something more than ordinary in intellect; insisted on my being sent to a boarding school. This then was the very hight [sic] of my ambition, for which my very heart panted. Oh that would make my fortune at once! Some of my kind neighbors, who must needs give their advice ridiculed the Idea; said that I had better follow my plough; that it would be time and money thrown away; that if a man could read a chapter in the Bible, sing psalms and count silver money, that was enough for a farmer; that I could make as much corn and cotton without being able to jabber over my nouns and renowns, as if I had all the learning in the world. Unfortunately, I was partly raised in a 'dark corner' where science had never dawned. Where literature was looked on as a barren weed, not worthy cultivating; and where my [cause?] friends thought doing God service to cast down wherever it should show its impious head. Having been blest [sic] however, with the kindest of mothers, and the most indulgent of fathers, I was gratified in my wishes, and soon fitted off to school. I accordingly laid down my hoe, left my plough tail, brushed up, and with a heart filled and throbbing with anticipation set out for Rocky Spring. I should have remarked however before that my father had for several winters past made a business of waggoning; and trading cider, apples etc. etc., many of which excursions I accompanied him. Frequently attended courts of public races etc. where I early acquired a habit of watching and studying the actions of men. I became familiar with a vari[e]ty of characters, as an idle spectator, unregarded I made my way with equal facility to the gaming table, and to the Judges bench. Heard and observed the flowing eloquence of the bar, and alike the incoherent bursts of bacchanalian revelry. As a little boy of business I learned to enter with equal ease the hovel of the indigent, the poor and the slave, and the halls and parlors of the affluent, the intelligent and the proud. One day beheld me on the road covered with mud, rain and snow, or perfoming the little drudgeries of camp; a situation frequently which the meanest slave would not envy; the next saw me rubbed up, with my best face on stepping along the porches of the wealthy waiting upon and performing little services for the bonnie lassses, the belles of the vilage [sic], a situation and employment envious to many a gallant beau and grinning scraping coxcomb. Frequently and carefully did I witness alike the conduct and manners of the rustic and the sage, of the plebian and the patrician, of the debauchee and the divine, of the ignoramus and the philosopher, of the honest man and the knave, of the wise man and the fool; from each I derived some useful item in the natural and usual philosophy of that singular being in animated nature, Man. From each I learned an important lesson, from each I noted down an example, this to be pursued and that to be shunned. Many noble deeds have I seen performed by the low and this ignoramus, which would be an honor to their village to record; yet many deeds, sub rosa, had witnessed, (as a little [illegible] of creature, unnoticed) performed [by] those of high respectability and standing, which would, if recorded make the page of their village history blush with shame! From these facts I learned, that a person of low standing is not incapable of performing a noble, nor a man of high standing of performing a ignomineous act. Such was the school in which were spent many of my early days. And, altho' not congenial with my vanity, perhaps the most useful school I ever entered. On the 'wheel of Fortune' I saw many purses broken, at the 'gaming table' I saw many fortunes shattered; these ocular demonstrations before my eyes, together with the warning voice of my good old friend Mason Weems sounding in my ears have ever kept me aloof from the 'winning game.' Never yet have I hazzarded [sic] a cent at any game; I have learned to seek elsewhere the smiles of fortune. In this s[c]hool lessons have been presented me in the Bacchanalian, the midnight reveler, the debauchee, their wo[e]-worn visage, their broken constitution, their empty purses, their reputation gone forever, have wrung from them the confessions of the guilt, 'a tale of woe!' Their haunts from that day have I shunned. For many years I have not used a drop of the intoxicating draught, may I ever flee from it as from liquid fire. About this time I also made several tours to the mountains in Greenville, and North Carolina trading cotton etc. for cider, apples, etc. Here again, althougth it does anything but flatter the pride of youth, was an interesting part of my Education. Here I became acquainted with different parts of the country, the manners and habits of the hardy Mountaineer; learned the act of waggoning, of trading, etc., accustomed myself to look upon the works of nature on a more extensive scale; admired the lofty snowcapt [sic] mountains, the laurel covered hills, the roaring cataract and the rippling cascade. Listened with [rapt?] attention to the hunter's stories, and the warrior's tales; was told the wonderous tales of Indian cruelty, and savage barbarity in days of yore. In these tours and excursions I observed many facts, and made some observations, upon which the eyes of philosophers have gazed with admiration. I learned that the bee would sip with impunity the poisonous nectar from the laurel flower, to punish their ungenerous and potent robber; that the pheasant would derive nourishment, and at the same time arm itself with a deleterious poision from the laural berry, that would inflict pain and death upon its inhuman murderer. Many such facts I observed. Several botanical specimins [sic] as laurel, white walnut, etc. I took home with me to the south. Here my intellect was improved and my constitution inured to the endurance of hardship. Here I enjoyed advantages unknown to the heir of affluence and of wealth, advantages of vital importance. I learned perseverence, industry, and economy. I seriously believe it has been to my benefit that I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth; that I was born naked! Chapt. III. 1825 & '26 At fifteen years of age, I took up my latin grammar at Rocky Springs Acadamy [sic] on Tiger River, Spartanburgh Dist. So. Ca. under Mr. E. S. Wilce, a young man of first rate abilities, and ample qualifications, and whom I now have the honor to mention as one of my personal friends in this my adopted country. Long, useful and happy be his Life! I boarded in the family of Maj. A. Barry, a worthy gentleman of the presbyterian order, who honored me with considerable interest in improving my manners, as well as in my advancement in Academic acquirements. He honored me with an introduction to many of his friends and relatives, to some of whom I became personally acquainted. There were boarding at the same house three young gentlemen of the acadamy [sic], to wit: C. P. Woodruff, an old acquaintance, of some ability; pretty much of the English character, organ of self esteem fully developed (Phrenology.) yet without much of the affability and courteous manners of the Frenchman. Could pass better than receive a joke. We kept up a correspondence for some time after I left So. Ca.; he graduated last year in the Medical school of Ohio, and is now practicing Medicine in his native district. Robert Williams, a noble fine hearted, overgrown, good natured fellow, a considerable student, though not very fond of recondite philosophical research; he is now I believe a farmer in old So. Ca. Israel A. Vandike, a promising youth, of fine intellect, polite manners, gracious and affable more fond however of amusement than close academic pursuits; he was fond of gaming, dancing etc., generally lost one day in every week from his studies to attend his dancing school. I have since understood that he has given himself up to disipation, and has destroyed his fortune at the gaming table, poor unfortunate youth. For Williams I soon formed a considerable attachment. Vandike's qualities I admired. Woodruff I liked pretty well, but thought him rather selfish. Although I was the youngest of the fraternity, in affairs of amusement and mischief I either led the way or was honored by being put forward by the rest, as my disposition and turn suited it best. Being in the country we generally got home by 4 o'clock p.m. We then retired to our rooms for study till near sunset, from which time till dark we indulged in various diversions; running, leaping, swimming, gathering fruit of which we had a great variety, walking the garden, etc. Here I remember an anecdote, which will in some degree exemplify my turn for diversion at that time when among my school fellows; before my superiors however, I always conducted with the utmost degree of circumspection and reverence. Bob and I concluded to go down to the river one evening for the purpose of swimming. Bob delayed to gather fruit, I reached the water first, at a place we had not been in before. On entering the water I found it not more than knee deep, with a bed of mud and leaves nea[r]ly as deep. Being thus disappointed, I set about having some fun. Accordingly threw myself on the water, or rather the mud and leaves and pretending to swim, called out to Bob to come on, fine swimming; and as the bank was high and muddy insisted on his leaping in head foremost. This he prudently delcined believing me as usual endeavoring to play a prank upon him, he concluded at last to break the water with his feet. So taking a fair start by running in order to gain the deep water, he leaped from the bank above, 8 or 10 feet. No sooner had he struck the water than I left it, cleared the oposite [sic] bank and took the [course?], agitated with laughter. No sooner had Bob recovered and extricated himself from the mud than he made full chace [sic] after me; I now began to apprehend a severe ducking, as he was much my superior in size and strength; however Bob being a good natured fellow, by fair promises of better conduct, and no harm being done, I was pardoned by washing the mud of[f] his back. Maj. Barry having declined boarding, we all removed to Esq. Jas. Crook's, a fine hearty and popular old farmer, and representative in the state legislature. Here we met with several other fine fellow students, as generous and as agreeable as heart could wish. Most my superiors in age and advancement, which was however greatly in my favor, as I was seldom at a loss for instruction when called for. It was a rule in the acadamy [sic] that every Friday evening each student should present a piece of original composition. After the labors of the day, the members of our club frequently met in order to [meet?] any petty case that might be brought before them, debate some question, or read something new or interesting. One of the fraternity having appeared with a very good piece of composition which he boastingly claimed as his own, on Thursday evening an old leaf of an old book was picked up by some of the company, in which was a great part of said essay almost verbatim. This I was selected as the most suitable person to read, the elder brothers fearing to give offence. In the evening the President in the chair, I very gravely invited the attention of the honorable caucus to an interesting article, just from press which had accidentally fallen into my hands; with this I commenced dealing out the contents of the old leaf, to the great chagrin of my friend, followed by a burst of laughter from the audience. He never again I believe showed his piece of 'original composition.' I thus foolishly lost his friendship for a length of time, and in fact I think it never was so cordial as before. About this time we established a debating society which on Saturday evenings at the acadamy [sic]; in which I took great interest and delight. I left school too soon to enjoy a sufficient share of its advantages. It flatters my vanity yet to recollect that at the last meeting I had the pleasure of attending I was first choice in the next debate. So great was my assiduity to study, and ardent desire to advance in learning, and to imporve to the greatest advantage my time at school which I knew must be comparatively short, that I soon reached the class above me; and would at the next session have past [sic] into the next class in succession. I was now reading Virgil. My father having determined to move to the west, I was called home having just finished my 6 months. This [last line cut off] Dissapointments too often despress our spirits below the point of salutary reaction, and it is a fact deeply to be regretted, that men, and men of good sense and cultivated understanding, but probably of too delicate sensibility, instead of meeting reverses of fortune with firmness and philosophic calmness; resolved to bear without murmuring what could not be avoided or ameliorated, and to learn from past experience an useful lesson for future conduct; too often give way to dispondence [sic] and melancholy reflection. In this state of existence, such individuals, in order to obtain a respite from tormenting reflection or gloomy anticipation, or farther to bury their troubles and misfortunes in the ocean of forgetfulness, fly to a far more mortal bane than Lethe's dark obliviating stream, the intoxicating cup. But for a moment he revels in his delusive mania; not in calm forgetfulness, but in a miserable state of perverted sensibility or blunted recollection. But again alas, he wakes from somnolent reverie, not of increased pleasure, but of alleviated pain, into a state of reaction to misery to torments both mental and bodily, both moral and physical, too refined for discription [sic], too keen and agonizing for calm imagination! The sequelae of such a state are waste of property, waste of health, destruction of domestic tranquility, and unhappiness in its broadest sense. Such reflections are suggested from circumstances, which although far from the picture drawn above, are yet too painful to be recorded, or yet to be indulged in recollection. About this time was the period most critical in the affairs of our little family. Matters of diminutive aspect, yet the concatenation of events which brought me to my present situation in the world, however trifling they might appear, if they were to appear at all to others; cannot fail to be matters of some interest to myself; and on them in my solitary and leisure moments, it affords me satisfaction to indulge recollection. My father having determined to emigrate to the West in the fall of 1826, sold of[f] at public auction his whole property with the exception of what he wished to carry with him, in all now amounting to some few thousand dollars' worth. Circumstances nevertheless, which it appeared impossible to control, determined us. Numerous debts were to be liquidated; collections were -[?] to be made; misfortunes awaited us. Loss of energy in business insued; and we were upon the point of being thwarted in our intention of moving that fall. My brother and myself were conditionally entered at a neighboring Academy. By the active energy and nuturing perseverance mainly of the best of mothers and the most devoted of matrons whose course of toil and provident management of affairs had fully qualified her for the task, matters were adjusted, and everything ready for our departure a few weeks after christmas. Parting from my old associates at school had inflicted a wound upon my social affections naturally ardent and warm from infancy, which had scarcely healed. I was now about to quit perhaps forever the scenes of my childhood, and companions of my early youth. Often did I recall to mind, for I just learned to read and repeat the inimitably beautiful lines of Virgil, "nos patriae fines, et dulces linguemus[?] arva[?]," which my fancy fabricated into something analogical. But I must cease to dwell upon these little matters; but little or big things it matters not, they'll never greet anothers ears or meet another's eyes. They're mine alone. Well, as I was about to say, some time in January 1827, one morning was seen vehicles for a long journey, horses preparing waggons [sic] loading, friends and neighbors coming in to witness our departure, and to bid us a last goodb'ye. This was a morning of some notoriety to me at least. To leave the old place, excited emotions not to be fanned away by a gentle gale. It was a lovely spot, and one, the remembrance of which will never fail to excite in my mind a romantic train of associated ideas. Well, while they're fixing to be off and talking about past events and future prospects, I'll take occasion to survey the old mansion and environs. Not very old however, as we had not been on the hill more than 7 or 8 years. But I shall never need this paper to call it to my mind. It is more acurately [sic] deliniated [sic] on the page of memory, than I can describe it with my pen. Yes, the lofty and romantic situation, the beautiful expanse of the broad hill, the fine shady trees, the pleasant garden, the tall gate, the fine open park and avenue to the road make a picturesque and beautiful landscape. But all's ready we take leave of our friends, and set out. Many of them accompanied us the first day, several camped with us that night, and some bore us company the next day. Then bearing away to the southwest, with mingled emotions of pleasure and sorrow, with thoughts divided between reflection and anticipation, we pursued our journey, over the hills and far away. Chapter IV. 1827 To reflect on the past is pleasant. To contemplate the scenes of our childhood, the land of our nativity, the country that gave us birth, left far away under the rising sun, perhaps never to meet our enraptured eyes again; yet not unseen by the eye of fancy. Oh never shall I forget ye; home of my infancy, land of my innocence and scenes of my most happy days! Altho' in far distant lands it be my fortune to rove, altho' the withering grasp of disappointment twine around my heart, and the storms of adversity fall upon my head; altho' friendless, altho' alike forgotten and unknown, by misery born down and by age oppressed; when ambition recoils from action, when love expires, when every warm emotion and animating thought shall have left this throbbing heart, when even Hope the last stay and support of nature languishes and dies; yet then will memory cast a vivid ray of recollection through the thick vista of bygone days and bygone sorrows, upon the happy though fleeting moments of pristine enjoyment, or innocent childhood; upon the beautific scenes of Ninety Six, and lovely banks of Enoree. But this sounds rather romantic. On our journey from South Carolina to Alabama nothing of very marked importance occurred. We stopped a day or two in Augusta Georgia, where we saw several of our relations. We then journied [sic[ to the west, crossed the great Chatahachie, came through the tribe of aboriginies called Creeks, and passed Montgomery town on the Alabama. We still bore to the west two days journey into the wilderness, and finally pitched our tent in the canebrake, near Cedar Creek Wilcox, now Lowndes County. We arrived here about the 25th of February 1827. We stopt. as above stated in the wilderness, on Middle Creek near the prairies. The very spot where I am now at the moment of penning this. But oh, how altered from what it then was. On the same ground where there was heard the nightly prowling of the beast of prey, and where but a few years before was seen the tall savage of the desert, with his tomahawk in one hand and his scalping knife in the other, now smile in rich profusion the wide extended fields, crowned with golden harvests for domestic consumption, and snow white staple for exportation. Here there was seen in sporting multitudes the wild deer of the forest. These already vanquished or slain have given place to domestic flocks and herds. Where there were nightly heard the shrill cries of the panther, and the gloomy howling of the wolf, and now behold the sportive flocks of bleating lambs, on the very ground where their [sic] was once heard the savage warwhoop, and have already mingled in chanting a hymn to liberty and civilization. Where but a few years ago the pale beams of the moon as they penetrated the gloomy forest, shrunk back dimly reflected from savage hands imbued in human blood, while the gloomy dell reechoed back from hill to hill the groans of fathers, the shrieks of mothers and the cries of innocent babes, alike the victims of unrelenting cruely, sacrifices to savage desperadoes, disgraceful to animated nature. Here now the golden beams of the smiling ruler of Day shed abroad their life giving rays upon the various brands of human industry, and institutions both human and divine for the promotion of science, morals, and religion. Such are a few of the important changes which industry and civilization have brought about within the last few years, even in this immediate vicinity, and which are now in rapid progression. But stop! I'm ahead of my story. Not a grain of corn had ever sprouted within five miles of our tent, not a stick -s[?] in the whole forest around us. The olders oaks were amazed at the sound of an axe! From the very hills there went forth an unaccustomed groan, which shook the hearts of the aged pines with amazement, when first they felt the tooth of the iron hearted mattock strike deep into their unshorn backs! And every little Druid around pricked up its ears at the voice of civilized man was reechoed through the forest. Having settled in the woods and being late in the season, I laid off my coat, laid down my books and took up my axe; hewing down the trees of nature's planting. In short this spring and part of summer was spent like good old Agricola in preparing and digging the ground. What a wonderful difference between the theory and the practice of a thing, at least of some things. What a noble employment, and how delightful is this first ground business of man; and how dignified by the great and good of almost every age. (Even good old Adam Primus, the very first man that the world ever saw, although like a princely lord he reveled in all the luxuries of sense, without labor toil or care; altho' blessed in the enjoyment of all the ineffible delights of a territorial paradise; and of all the charms of a lovely spouse, the very bone and flesh that had long lain nearest his heart; now all his own; his meat the finest ambrosia and his drink the most delicious nectar. Yet notwithstanding all this we see him leaving all this pleasure, pomp, dignity and ease behind, and nobly going forth 'to till the soil,' a farmer, a cultivator of the earth; with which new employment he seems to have been so much delighted, that he never forsook it; nor are we informed that he ever again attempted to gain or wished for the pleasure of former years. Glorious Example!) The noblest and best of men with whose presence the face of our globe was ever honored, were cultivators of the soil. Cincinatus was a ploughman. Washington was a farmer. And indeed what more natural than men of good sense and refined taste, with sound judgement to lead the way, should be lovers of ease, industry, and independence. And what more agreeable than to see the rich alluvion rolling before the shining ploughshare, or to see wheat crowned fields, waving their golden ridges before the wanton breezes or hills skipping with sportive flocks, and rich meadows smiling with bounteous supplies for numerous herds; while at home place, plenty and happiness reign! This however is the gilded side of the picture - - turn it over. Send a poor fellow out into the cane brake to make his fortune; to dig his way through the world; and you preach to him in vain of the family happiness; of his ease and independence; he'll tell you 'tis not the "thing its cracked up to be." The first face of the diagram was drawn in the golden, the latter in the iron age. Calm, serene and lovely was the 8th of July 1827. This morning's dawn beheld my joyful rising from calm repose, for it ushered in the period of my again resuming my favorite pursuits in academic lore. The arduous labours of the season had just ended, soon to be succeeded by a luxuriant crop, and finally to be crowned with an abundant harvest. Like a bird just set free from wicker bondage, I set out with joyful heart for Rock Spring, Butler Co. about 25 miles distant. The remembrance of that day's journey will linger long as the remembrance of an old companion. The sun shone more brightly; the zephyrs whispered more softly. The birds sang more sweetly; the scene appeared more lovely. Nothing harrowed reflection. Nothing impaired the enjoyment of retrospection on the past. The present was full of enjoyment; the future big with anticipated joys; and never was anticipation more fully realized. My only companion was Cousin Simeon Woodruff, a few my superior in years; the playmate of my childhood, who had moved to Ala. a few years previously. He was acquainted with the country, and the people whither we were. Often and long, as we rode along this lovely summer's morning, did we dwell upon the many playful [years?] of childhood; the many holydays [sic] spent together in the old fields, the green shades, the pleasant gardens, the fruitful orchards and the refreshing bathing ponds of the "old South Carolina," our native land. Then with gladdening hearts, and swelling bosoms would we recur to the scenes and prospects just before us; to the pleasure we should again enjoy together, where all our leisure hours from books and severe though most pleasant study, could be spent in gayety and merriment; where we should enjoy the company of merry good hearted fellows of school; and above all the lovely smiles of many a fair sweet flower. Never did two gay hearts in the dawn of youth ever better enjoy a feast of anticipated pleasures. These thoughts and conversation soon carried us across Cedar Creek and found us on the Butler Ridge, lightly making our way under the soft umbrage of majestick pines. Already had we arrived in view of the fine airy cite [sic] of Manningham, the scene, yes, the ever cherished scene of much of my most exalted enjoyment. But I will not even in fancy anticipate my story. On the evening of the 8th of July 1827 in my 17th year, we reached our destined home and took up our abode in the family of Benj. Manning Esqr., whose family consisted of himself, his wife a smart sensible talkative little woman, 4 or five little boys, and his brother Levi, a good hearted respectable and tolerably well informed youth of 20. These with my cousin and myself now constituted the family. Hitherto I had scarcely gone beyond the bounds of my own acquaintance, at least without some of my friends. I -[?] found myself at a distance from my acquaintances, and I may say in a strange land. This however was not long the case. My natural inclination and manners soon brought me acquainted with the neighborhood generally. My friend with whom I boarded seemed to interest himself much in my favor, and extended to me his friendship. My preceptor, to whom my most grateful acknowledgements are ever due, and who will ever share my warmest friendship and lasting respect, greatly interest[ed] himself in my favor. With all the dignified qualities of a preceptor he possessed the characteristicks of a sound moralist. From him I received not only the instructions of a teacher, which he was eminently qualified to impart to his pupils, but also the sound advice of an intel[l]igent guardian and the affectionate regard of an elder brother. For my classmate Mr. J. G. Davenport, I soon contracted the warmest Friendship, which I believe was and ever has been mutual. His amiableness of disposition and gentleness of manners engaged my admiration and esteem, while his intelligence and sound understanding everywhere commanded resprect. His close and constant application to study I have never seen excelled. He had just commenced Virgils Eneids, a few sessions in which I had read before I left R. Spring Academy, So. Ca. Here we commenced together. I now found the high advantages of a studious and intelligent classmate. We continued together scarcely missing a day for 18 months, during which time we read and reviewed Virgils Eclogues, Georges [?], and Eneids; Horace through; Cicero, etc. Greek test. Math., Mark, Luke, John, part. Acts and [Rev.?]; and Lucians [?] Dialogues. Chapter V. 1827 '28 I have always looked upon the days of my pupilage at Poplar Spring Academy, and I am persuaded not without some degree of propriety as the happiest of my life. I had now attained the principle object of my early desires. Unoppressed by care, light as the zephyrs that curled around me, merry as the cheerful warbler whose liquid notes of melody regales my evening walks, my time past [sic] sweetly and swiftly away. My morning and evening walks along publick highway along a beautiful ridge in the piny woods never failed to afford a delightful repast of reflection and meditation, diversified with sports, merriment, etc. Nor were my walks solitary. No there was one whose presence begiled the distance and "Made each dear scene of enchantment more dear." An almost constant attendant on my morning and evening walks, which indeed when she was near soon became excursions of pleasure. Often, yea, often arm in arm did we tread the mazy track to classic Love. Each scene of rural quiet, beauty and merriment afforded pleasure to our youthful hearts, which soon learned as if by invitaion to beat in unison. When she was absent, (why I could not tell), my days began to wear a shade of gloom. My thoughts were roving, time dragged heavily on hand; while her cherished image often set my bosom swelling with indescribable emotion. When she was present, all nature smiled in beauty; 'twas springtide. The heavens wore a brighter aspect, the earth was d[r]e[n]ched in richest verdure; the scene was far more lovely, the birds sang more sweetly and I was more joyful. Yet in all this I recognised nothing but a kind of youthful attachment, a kind of purile fondness. Yet still 'tis as a sensation to me wholly unknown before. Three months before the close of the school, my classmate left me. I was then reviewing. My labours were light. I could have recapitulated my grammars at one sitting. Virgil, Horace, and Ciciro were my pasttime [sic]. Of course I had much time for amusement. My leisure hours were mostly passed with my fair playmate; Saturdays in plays, walks, gathering fruits, etc. Sundays at church, musick school, etc. Primeval man in golden age knew no greater joys than I in this. But alas! all earthly things must have an end. So had my Halcyon Days. Soon were our social hours to have an end. Soon were we to be separated, perhaps forever. Well do I yet remember an evening past in a perfect bed of roses. It so happended that we were honored with an invitation to wait together on a young couple of lovers at the Hymenial altar. Hilarity, pleasure and merriment filled the atmosphere that floated around us. Joy in every face; mirth on every brow, pleaure in each eye; good cheer and good spirits filled the scene. To every note of pleasure did our hearts resound, and thrill emotions known to but few, and to us perhaps unknown before. No formal declaration had ever been made. No vows had passed, no languishing love draughts had been sipped; no tales of woe had been reiterated. No broken hearts or cracked brains had mingled in the happy repast of our enwraptured [sic] feelings. No, ours was the language of the heart. No wily arts; no blandishments or innuendoes, oft deceitful. No, ours was the language of nature, simplicity and purity of attachment. After the cermonies were over, with something like rapture did I sit beside my fair partner in the merry parlor. From the warmth of the evening, added to excitement of feeling, I suppose, Miss M. became faint, which was soon relieved by a walk in the open air; a promenade in the garden a fine beautiful moonlight [sic] night. On retuning we joined with accustomed glee in the merry sports common to such occasions. But I am not writing a romance, much less a tale of loves. But yet it delights me still to remember those romantic emotions that once filled my bosom. To cast one fold lingering look upon those Halcyon days, when the busy cares of life were to me unknown. When all the romance of early youth was left free to rove the fields of pleasure unmolested. Thus passed the last and perhaps the happiest of my scholastic days. But I can not forget my fair enchantress yet. Often did I wish formally to communicate my feelings already manifest to her scared bosom. But without that explanation we parted; to me at least an unpleasant separation. But stern fate had thus decreed. The school had closed. The time of my pupilage had come to an end. Other engagements awaited me. Yet did absence only purify my affections without weakening them. Often did I recollect the past, fondly I thought upon the future. But my prospects in life forbade me indulge a hope that our destinies should ever be united. And thanks to my propicious [sic] 'though considered unfriendly stars that they were not. Often did I with rapture return to the oft remembered scene of so much delight. Yet had I never declared by words my attachment. Time had now rolled away several years. But I must anticipate. Many sage conjectures were made of our mutual attachment. Many imagined us engaged, even the old people, who were my best friends thought so. But twas all a mistake. Finally however, before my departure to the north to complete my professional studies, I had reasoned my self up to the notch of breezing her a little at least. But here I made my worst blunder. I had obtained permission to address her, and she (still bless her little soul, at least for what she once was) had appointed a day not far distant when it would be convenient for me to see her on that subject. But unaccountable piece of conduct. How it happened I am not able to account to myself. I did not see her till a week or more after the appointed time. This awkward procedure led at once to the conclusion that my pretensions were not real. But I will not dwell even in thought on the subject. The whole matter is rightfully the property of Oblivion. To oblivion then do I consign it. Yet from this consignment will memory claim some striking relic, some sacred momento must linger still. A scene where mutual affection was sealed with tears; for we like others had to part. A solitary ride 10 ms. together one pleasant day in autumn, yes in fading yellow leafed autumn, must be snatched from cold oblivion's grasp. One other scene alone must never be forgotten, and that was our last, yes our last interview. The last time I had the happiness of listening to the enwrapturing [sic] notes of her melifluous voice; of pressing her soft lily hand; of gazing on her charm, of basking in her smiles, - - No, no, she did not smile; our emotions I suppose were too deep for smiles. Never, oh, never, shall I forget the sad moment we parted. Never shall I forget that last look of affection; never that last warm, earnest pressure of her delicate hand; it was a touch that thr-ed[?] through my very soul. No love was plighted, no vows were made or broken. Sentiments of purest friendship, of unaffected regard for each others welfare and regret at parting was all that breathed. Both appeared sensible that we parted to meet no more. For the last few years much of our pastime and amusements had been together. Much of confidence had been mutually reposed. These considerations regardless of warmer feeling, rendered our parting painful. But I forget. We parted! And as we promised, have never met and in all probability never will meet again. Thus ended my first, and only, and if not more pleasant may it be my last adventure in matters of Love, if it may be so termed; of matrimony I believe it never was designed, or thought of, at least seriously, and yet I admire that object for what she once had been. I still love the image of what she once was. And now altho we are strangers; altho alike forgotten; altho the bitter as well as sweets of former days are sunk to eternal slumber under the cold dark waves of Oblivion, never again to be revived, never again to have a being; yet the memory of what she once has been is and ever will be dear to my Heart. Dear cherished image of former happier days farewell! Thou who couldst glad this heart, whose presence could tune the soft notes of bliss, and swell this throbbing bosom with extatic [sic] emotion, Farewell!! Farewell! if ever fondest prayer For other's weal, availed on high Mine shall not all be lost in air But waft thy name beyond the sky. Chapter VI - 1828 & 29 Nothing is more laborious, at least more perplexing than having nothing to do. A young man is seldom placed in a situation more embarrassing than at that period, when having in common parlance finished his literary studies, he leaves school and comes home, out of employment, out of funds and not determined what course he will pursue. Such was the unpleasant predicament I found myself in, on returning home from Poplar Springs Academy, about the last of October 1828, the final examination in which institution took place, as well as I recollect on 22nd of that month. I had now acquired as much scholastic knowledge as my means could allow, a scanty stock to be sure, compared to that for which I panted. Sed dira necssitas me compelle but[?]. Financial matters must now be attended to. Accordingly about the 1st of November 1828 I set in to teach an "old field school," in Crumpton's neighborhood, Dallas Co., which had been made up for me previously. Thus, then, commenced my pedagogical career. I boarded with Revd. Mr. Crumpton, for whom and whose family I soon contracted the greatest friendship, which I have every reason to believe reciprocated. My brother Archibald also boarded with me, and here with two other youths commenced the study of the Latin Language. Mr. C. a man of undoubted piety, had a fine theological library, to which I devoted a great deal of my leisure time. Wesley and Fletcher's works, Benson's Commentaries, etc., etc. occupied most of my leisure hours; which was greatly improved to my benefit by frequent conversation and argument with Mr. C. upon doctrinal points etc. I paid however considerable attention to literature. Read Horace's works through from beginning to end. etc. etc. The perplexing ro[u]tine of pedagogical life affords but little to amuse, little that memory delights to dwell upon. With fretting, scolding and using the rod, I past [sic] away the first quarter; when in all probability, my career would have been up, but for the solicitations of my friends and the hightening [sic] of my wages; an item of no small moment in the business. My leisure hours continued to be employed in reading and study. During this time also I composed several pieces of poetry. My first puny essay at this kind of composition, Spring of 1828, that deserves the name (I had before written some gingling rhymes) was a kind of soliloquy of 52 lines on the uncertainty of human grandeur, and terrestrial happiness; and directing some thoughts to a better state of existence. Some good ideas to be sure but meanly dressed. During the summer, I believe, I wrote a bagatelle of about 36 lines to my youthful enchantments, alluded to in the last chapter. These efforts however were rather flat as indeed have been my subsequent efforts. Showing -[?] and "all sorts of doubt" that I never was intended for a poet. Such composition however has afforded a kind of respite from severer studies. Although I believe I gave pretty general satisfaction to my employers, and came off with considerable credit as a "piny wood school master," made many acquaintances and friends by no means to my disadvantage, and who have since shown me many favors; and altho I have never repented the time thus employed, yet at the expiration of the last six months, I was fully satisfied with the business without giving it a further trial. After the expiration of this term for which I set in, I again returned to my paternal home, as far from being contented as ever mortal was. I now had some idea of again taking upon me the arduous task of school teacher; and many thoughts of turning Farmer. In order, however, to give myself time for reflection, I took up my pole axe, maul, and wedge and went forth into the wild woods to seek employment and to gain a respite from ennui; for I believe I should have prefered doing almost any business to doing nothing. Although the woods abounded in choice game, of almost every kind, it was out of the question for me to take delight in the chace [sic]. I was never born for a sportsman and of course it was out of the question to make one of me. I would often go out with my gun, take my stand, getting into some train of thought, or reading some book, which I seldom went without, and waking from my reverie, the buck had passed by me probably an easy shot; while my piece stood harmless and useless at its post, some neighboring tree; or the chace [sic] had take an opposite direction; I could barely distinguish the cry of hounds, or the shrill sound of the huntsman's horn faintly echoing from some distant hill, while I, thus left to my meditations, would wind my solitary way over hill and dale, through swamp and prairie, admiring the beauty and harmony of the magnificent works of the Mighty architect. The profession of medicine had always been my choice from my early youth. Indeed a proposition had been made to my father by Dr. Eber Smith of So. Ca. before my leaving that country, to take me under his tuition, which probably would have been readily accepted to [sic], had not my parents left that country. The study of Medicine I had long panted to engage in, but my means were too limited. My ambition had always been when I commenced a pursuit to go through with it, which in this instance appeared almost impossible and an empyrick[?] I always dispised [sic]. Encouraged however in my brightest hopes by the most indulgent of parents, a way was soon opened for the gratification of my most ardent desires. While I was busy in the forest, hewing down and clearing up, my Father visited Dr. Herbert of Butler Co. and made arrangements for my immediately commencing, under that able practitioner the study of Medicine. This was to me like "Good news in a a far Country." In August 1829 when I was just 19 years of age, I commenced the study of medicine under the tuition of Dr. Hillary Herbert, whom I have ever ---ed[?] amongst my best friends and benefactors. Under the tuition of this able instructor by dint of close application and hard s[t]udy, almost night and day, I made such progress, that in the space of 14 months, I was thought competent to take upon me the healing art. This might however, have been an error, into which the partiality of my friends had led them. My ambition however and sense of justice to an exalted profession could not be satisfied short of a regular course of study in some respectable University. During my med. pupilage there were months in succcession that I was not out of sight of the Dr.'s office and altho I was within 1 mile of Greenville the county site [sic], I was the[re] but once as well as I recollect for the space of 12 months, and that was at the drawing of the lottery. I had been induced by the invitation of respectable citizens and members of the church and more particularly by the hope of gain to hazard five dollars at this innocent game, in which many who pretended to abhor the very name of gambler were engaged. Hence I thought it no harm. But when to my mortification, I drew a Blank, I lost my money, I thought no better than gaming at anything else. This, by the bye, was a salutory hint, I have not hazarded anything since, either in lotteries, or other and fairer species of gaming. My Sabbaths were spent as formerly in reading scriptural and philophical works. Paid some attention to mental philophopy. Observed[?] the metaphysicians, for that very trait in which their science appeared to consist. Obscurity. It was my habit, for some time during the winter and Spring, after the weeks studies had closed at night to compose some piece of poetry or rather rhyme, or some moral, philosophical or auratory [sic] subjects, which in most cases were finished or correct next morning. I[n] some instances, I succeded in spinned [sic] 50 or 60 lines very little of it however worth preserving. I also collected a kind of code of maxims and rules of condut, etc. which I inteded to reduce to something like System, a kind of preface to which I composed in something like verse. My preface, maxims and all however, were dissipated and lost, but the substance thereof I have never forgotten. Here is a rude draft of the verses which I find on an old piece of waste paper, verbatim and literatium [?] On entering lifes expanded maze, We first should look and plan our ways. Mark out our course, our schemes direct, That we may ever live correct. In youthful innocence of life, While free from anxious cares and strife, Before fell prejudice inclines, Or partial views direct our minds; Our lifes designs we ought to frame, And live consistent with the same. Then may I see -[?] pursue The way of peace and virtue too; The ways of vice where [ere] they be, May I detect and from them flee; In all I think or speak of do, May I these maxims still pursue. Discriminate the [paths?] of right, And ever keep them in my sight; That I in them may walk and live, Which only can true pleasure give. And when the scenes of life are o'er, And I on earth shall be no more, May it be said I right have done, And of these rules here broken none. Had this been seen which I believe it never was, its author would never have been charged with plagarism. In my motto there was equally as much ingenuity. Here it is. Also copied from a rude sketch on a piece of waste paper Peregre, Lato, Semper, Domini[?]. Audi, Legi[?], Versa[?], Scribi. Attenti[?], Curati[?], Consulta, Restricti[?]. Which read by lines from top to bottom I rendered thus When abroad, hear with attention. Everywhere, read with attention (care). At all times meditate with deliberation. When at home, write with precision. All this was the result of an idle moment. For a few months before I left Alabama for the north I pursued my studies at home, Pa having built me a study for my convenience. During this period also I formed several interesting acquaintances, amongst whom was my ever valued friend J. W. Dunklin, M. D. who had been a student of Dr. Herbert, and who had attended the winter session of 1828 and 29 in Transylvania University, and intended completing his studies there the next session. I detemined, if possible, to bear him company the next fall. In order to facilitate my studies, and to gain a knowledge of the doctrines taught in that University, in advance, I spent 4 weeks with Dr. D. at his Ma's. Through some pecuniary embarrassment, overcome by the goodness of my friends, I was able to set out for the University about 9th [19th?] of Oct. one thousand eight hundred and twenty nine. Chapter VIII - 1830 & 31 Matters having been previousely arranged, on the 19th [9th?]of Oct. 1830 I left home for Transylvania University. It was a fine autumnal afternoon, that I left McCracken's Campground meeting then in session. Just as the signal was given for afternoon services, I bid adieu to my relations and friends, and mounted my horse, set out. This was for me quite a solemn afternoon. As far as my friend Dunklin's 10 ms. my ride was solitary. Every circumstance conspired to highten [sic] the romantic gloom of my evening ride. The circumstances under which I had left home, having never left for so long a time nor so great a distance; the peculiar solemnity of the season; the falling of the yellow leaf of autumn; the hollow tones of the autumnal breezes through the fading foliage, as if nature was singing her requiem to her former favorites; the decay of the [leafy?] [bowers?] of summer, as if the angel of the leaves had taken her flight to more congenial climes; all, all conspired to highten [sic] my melancholy. But not to be romantic or prolix: on the following day, I joined Dr. Dunklin, who, as above stated had passed the preceding winter in Ky. During this trip the longest and most pleasant perhaps that I had taken, I saw much to instruct and much to amuse; and in short, I learned to be a "traveler." We passed through Huntsville, Ala., Nashville, Ten. and finally reached Lexinton, Ky., the place of our destination, on Friday evening, 5th of November. We went immediately to Mr. McNites, where Dr. D. had boarded the winter before. We were received with a downright hearty welcome, peculiar I believe, to the generous, independent and noble hearted sons of the West. Not the barbarous, savage west; but the enlightened refined west. For I am persuaded that in no country is there more genuine refinement than in Fayette and the adjoining counties, Ky. On Saturday, the day after my arrival, and week of Introductory Lectures, attended Profr. Short's Lecture. Became acquainted with the professors, procured tickets and was ready to commence regular business on Monday. There were two other boarders with Dunklin and myself in the same room, J. W. Hanna, an irritable, though jocose Irishman, and E. J. Young, a Ky. Dr. of -- [?], both fine steady fellows. My acquaintance with Dr. D. was of the greatest advantage to me. In the medical department of the University, there are two classes the senr. and junr., or first and second course students. The junr. class composed of those who have not attended lectures before, and who do not appear as candidates for graduation. The senr. composed of those who have attended one or more sessions previous and who intend becoming candidates for graduation the ensuing Spring. These two classes usually form themselves into clubs of six or more, in order to recapitulate the lectures and otherwise facilitate their studies. Each member represents a professor and examines accordingly by question and answer. As matter of course the senr. class are not only further advanced but are at the same time more studious and attentive to business, looking forward to the "Ides of March." Notwithstanding I belonged to the Junr. Class, I was, without my knowledge and contrary to my expectation, chosen as member of a club in the Senr. Class. This was of great advantage to me. The club was composed of 5 young gentlemen, all of whom had been engaged in the practice of medicine; and some of them for several years. They were all candidates for graduation in the spring, and mostly men of talents. In this club I had the honor of being chosen to represent the prop. of materia medica and medical botany. The names of our club mates were Jas. W. Dunklin of Alabama, Boling A. Blakey of Ala., Newton L. Cain of Georgia, J. W. Hanna of Ala., and E. J. Young of Ky. We usually met twice a week, and towards the close of the session every evening. Our meetings often continued 11 o'clock at night and sometimes later. After this it fell to my lot to transcribe my notes from the lectures of the day; which I had taken down as they were delivered by catch words, for I knew nothing of the rules of stenography. I soon however became so accustomed to taking down notes that it was no task to me. In this way was my time constantly employed, from Monday morning till Saturday evening, beginning at 9 in the morning and continuing till 5 in the evening; with exception of one hour from 1 to 2 for dinner. Attending to the club and transcribing notes after supper required pretty close application till 11 and sometimes till 1 to 2 A. M. Notwithstanding this however, we had several hours for reading and recreation. In the very worthy family in which we boarded our leisure hours were passed with more than ordinary delight. It was just such a family as I love to dwell with. Generous, independent, familiar and sociable; intelligent, amiable and pious; all belonging to the Presbyterian Church. Besides the old gentleman and lady, the family was composed of John, Robert, Jarius[?], and Gabriel, all but the last were grown, and as amiable young men as I have ever known; Maria, Eliza, Rebecca, and Katharine, all but the last a little girl were young ladies of intelligence and piety. Indeed they were all engaging and amiable ladies; and Rebecca a lovely charming girl. They were all remarkably lively in disposition and sang delightfully. It was in the society of this family that most of my leisure time was passed. So agreeably situated indeed I lived a happy life. Professional knowledge and useful science now constituted the great objects of my attention. And indeed the fountains from which I daily sipped were so rich, so sweet and flowed so freely that it was like a stream of nectar in the garden of Paradise. No cares to imbitter, no angry feelings to wound, no bitter dregs to poison. 'Twas an ambrosial feast, still made more delicious by the endearing society of those that appeared more like sisters than common friends. I also became acquainted with several other families, with whom I passed many a delightful evening. By the politeness of my friend Dr. Dunklin I became acquainted with Mrs. Clayton and her aimiable family. The Doctr. by the by, was I believe then paying particular attention to Mrs. R. C. whom he afterwards made Mrs. D. During the winter Mrs. McNite a pious exemplary woman died of pulmonary consumption. 'Twas a melancholy scene! . . . On the death of Mrs. Mc. I addressed several verses on the occasion to her bereaved daughters. These contrary to any thought or expectation were published in the "Western Seminary," a religious periodical then published in Lexington. They were noticed by several of my acquaintances and were well nigh bringing up on me the distiction of Poetaster. Of the Publick Teachers in Med. Department of Transylvania University, I can not speak in too high terms of praise; I found most of them not only men of talents and learning, but also men whose dignified deportment and affable and social virtues do honor to the name of gentleman. But their publick reputation and private worth are too well and too extensively known to need an eulogy even from a far more gifted hand than mine. Suffice it to say there will ever remain a monument of their talents and worth in the breast of every scion of Transylvania. Together with all the students from Ala. I had the honor of attending a party at the house of Rev. Dr. Woods, then president of Trans. Universy. and who was soon to fill the same office in the University of Alabama. This acquaintance was farther improved afterwards. Here I became again a classmate of many of my former acquaintances and schoolmates of So. Ca. I[n] [his?/whos?] name I wrote a joint letter to our mutually highly esteemed preceptor then as now, a citizen of Ala. After the close of the medical Lectures on the first of March, commenced the examination of the candidates for the honors of the University. All the members of my club graduated with honor. I of course according to the established rules and usages of the institution was not a candidate, having attended but one course of Lectures. During the three weeks of the examination I employed myself partly in attending the meetings of our clubs, as they continued to meet till nearly all had passed the ordeal; partly in reading as the extensive library of the institution offered facilities I was confident I should soon want; partly in visiting, for I had now become acquainted with many hospitable families where a leisure hour always met with full engagement; and partly in writing piece of poetry etc. for the amusement of my young friends. I wrote about this time 4 or 5 acrostick pieces, and finally a valedictory piece to my fair friends at home. This last was sung to me the next winter by the whole choir to a pastoral air. On the 10th of March 1831, the publick commencement was held in the hall of [the] university, and an appropriate and feeling valedictory delivered by Prof. Cooke. On the following day, after promises of correspondence, we bid adieu to our friends (for I am sure our short acquaintance had made us many such) mounted our horses and with merry hearts set out for Home. Chapter IX It was one lovely evening the 1st of April 1831 that I again hailed with delight my paternal home. But my pen uncurbed would lead me again too much into detail, not to say romance. Suffice it to say I was happy in being happily received by my friends and relations. In a few days after my return to Ala. I waited on P. W. Herbert, M.D., member of Selma board of Physicians, and on examination obtained licence to practice medicine and surgery in the State of Ala. This was a step I would fain have avoided, sed dira necessitas item me compelle but[?], financial matters again required my personal exertions. There was a diffidence I found it hard to overcome, but being persuaded by my friends I was induced to take upon me the arduous duties and heavy responsibilities of the practice of the profession. Soon after this I set out for Mobile, purchased books and medicines, returned home, and set up shop, determined to pursue with energy my professional studies, and attend to what business might present itself without soliciting it. Here I find I have made a mistake. I did not visit Mobile until the following spring. Dr. Dunklin purchased for me my books and meds. the first year. I had now some time before I was 21 years of age, through many difficulties assumed the responsibilities of an arduous profession, and soon learnt [sic] to feel its weight. During the summer and fall several of my relations and friends were severely attacked by the prevailing fever of the country, among whom were my brother, brother-in-law and sister. I now about this time became initiation in to the mysteries of trouble. But 'tis an unpleasant theme. I would dismiss it but alas it is the companion of my profession. My success however was remarkable. I believe I did not lose a single patient out of more than 20 and many were dire attacks. There was however a lady that died whom I visited over in an adjoining county. She had been attended by two physicians of reputation, and had lain 20 days with congestive fever before I was called to see her, which call was probably the result of a brief reputation I had not fully earned. The season was now approaching when I longed to sip again at the Pyrian fount. The time was coming on when I must set out in order to reach the University by the first of the session. But alas, ardent and unbounded as were my desires, my means were limited. Collections were out of the question. The land sales were coming on; pa---rly [?] all of my friends would be in need of every dollar they could command to purchase land. What was to be done I had made exertions, but all appeared abortive. . . . Oh, penury, cursed penury, where are thy - - not thy charms, but thy features tolerable, that sages have looked upon with placid face! To what extremity will thou not drive thy starved and haggard victims? He who would mention half thy curses must first clank the cold iron chains that thou alone canst forge! . . . But whither has fled my wonted philosophy? Poverty, altho a great inconvenience is no disgrace. Although I am poor I exult in the thought that I have come by my poverty honestly, yes, honorably. My country is my wealth. With her have I divided largely, and she will not brand me with dishonor. She will not withold from her devoted children nor from the offspring of her champions in their time of need. No, nor will she make them slaves! No, she offers her mines of wealth for this industry to improve. She spreads her golden harvest for them to reap. She - but stop wild fancy again thou hast gone frantic. To the kindness of my valued friend Revd. J. Crumpton are my grateful acknowledgements ever due. Not only for his inestimable counsel, but for his kindness in relieving my pecuniary embarrassments. When informed that I should probably fail from want of means in my most ardent wishes, he unsolicited kindly offered me his assistance. This I am glad to remember cost him no embarrassment, nothing but the [love?/loan?] of his name for a few months. Yet had it cost more, if in his power, I am sure it would not have been withheld. About the 20th of Oct. 1831 I again set out for old Ky. Unlike my former trip however, my journey was entirely alone. This circumstance gave ample scope for the play of imagination, of retrospection and anticipation. While the ever varying aspects of things and scenes around me gave ample delight to fancy's revels. The yellow landscape of autumn, the gathering of crops, the fruitful orchards loaded with berries, the wide extended plain, the wild waste, the morning dews, the evening vespers, of Barrens; the undulating hillock, the frowning precipice, the stupendous mountain, the rippling stream, the slow rolling river, the roaring cataract, all conspired to highten [sic] the solitary romance of my travels. To a contemplative fancy in solitude, of such enchanting scenes who can tell the solemn delight? During this trip I fell in with many of my distant relations in Tennessee, an honest set of peasants, of whom I learned more than I had before known of my family. With them I passed several days. Heard many interesting incidents of my grandfather Charles Lavender, when a soldier and subsequently. It was after sundown on the 10th of Nov., a fine clear evening, that I drove up to the magnificent gate of Chammiere des Prairies, a splendid country site, 8 miles south of Lexington, formerly the residence of an old Englishman, but now of a wealthy hospitable Kentucky farmer, Mr. Robards. During my stay in Lexington the winter before I had become acquainted with the old gentleman, and by invitation together with Drs. Dunklin and [Farmer?/Karmia?], stopped a day after leaving Lex. last Spring. During that season too it had been my pleasure to become acquainted with Miss Zarilda and Sarah, the fair daughters of my hospitable friend. My acquaintance expecially with Miss Sarah, a blooming rosebud of 17 had almost matured into a warmer emotion. She was quite a favorite in [Mr./Mrs.?] Mc.'s family house. We had a better opportunity of becoming acquainted. Moreover I had the vanity to think her not impartial to myself, - - be this as it may however it did not make me the less partial to her. The morning I left Chammiere, she appeared less cheerful than usual. We took a promenade through the garden and pleasure grounds; the longest serpentine walk in which was not less than a mile in length. On leaving I saw her delicate lovely form, oh I shall ever remember it, watching our departure until we had passed the old English gate, near a mile from the open park. Well, to this desirable spot I had again returned. I was met by the old gentleman in the park with a hearty welcome, and conducted to the well remembered mansion. Scarcely had I entered the open hall, when I was met by her whom of all others I most wished to meet. Miss S. in all her charms and loveliness. Never had I seen her look more lovely. Her tall person of perfect symmetry, her fine expressive features, her sparkling blue eyes, her golden tresses that curled gracefully around a neck more beautiful than polished marble, presented an animated picture of the fairest m---[?]. But I am not writing a tale of loves, I am not rearing an imaginary idol, at whose shrine to kneel and pay the tribute of adoration; no I am alby for my own amusement and private satisfaction, writing a simple history of a few simple facts. Yet I must still suffer myself to cherish the remembrance of these beautific scenes, as a just tribute of esteem for unrivaled beauty, unsullied virtue, and for all that's amiable and lovely. The evening was passed agreeable [sic]. Old acquaintances were inquired after; the events of the past winter rehearsed and those of the approaching anitcipated, railroads and and other important improvements in the west eulogised. Next morning I was about leaving, when Miss S. with a frankness almost perculiar to western character, which is as free from that squeamish dellicacy [sic] that haunts the vain, as it is from their undignified affection, informed me she would ride to town in the afternoon. Of course I did not hesitate, the day was passed most agreeably. But just as we were in high spirits, and I at least highly pleased to say the least at the prospect of my anticipated ride, unlucky stars! a country cousin from a distance (whom I afterwards found to be a hearty buck and who graduated the next winter) just passed in and nonsuited me in all my evening's anticipation. Politeness if nothing else required his fair Coz's society, her sister Zarilda being in Louisville at the time. I left in [the] afternoon with a promise however of seeing her in Lexington soon. Chapter X - 1831 It was after sundown when a gentle --- was heard at the door of my old host in Lex. All the family were there. I felt as though I had just returned home from a long journey. The evening was passed pleasantly. On Saturday, the day following my arrival, I visited the professors, procured tickets, and was ready on Monday morning to enter upon the business of the session. I also visited my friends and acquaintences, for the pleasures I always derived from social intercourse were so great, that I could not forgo their gratification. To the students in the medical class this year additional and important advantages were offered. The chemical chair was occupied by new incumbents; Prof. Yandell a young gentleman of fine talents, accomplished education, and engaging manners, and a scientific chemist. Mr. Eaton, a youth of surpassing abilities officiated as assistant profr. The Lectures were more brilliant and if possible more interesting than formerly. Here I will remember a little incident, which though trivial and ephemeral in its nature, made some little noise at the time. The previous session I had been elected junr. member of "Lexington Medical Society of KY," which during the winter season met every Friday evening. On my return it was found difficult to form a quorum. Being anxious that it should continue in operation I called on Profr. Caldwell, then President of the society to forward the business. On the Friday following we met and after some difficulty, at length formed a quorum, appointed officers for the season etc. etc. When contrary to every expectation, altho I believe I was the only junr. member present, I was elected to read the first essay, and notwithstanding my protest the task was fastened upon me, by far the youngest both in age and in medicine, and probably as far the weakest of the fraternity. But there was no getting off; so I immediately set about the task. I soon pitched upon the Phenomena and Philosophy of Animal Heat, as a proper subject for our discussion. The view I took of the subject excluded the agency of chemical and mechanical agency operation, and explained the phenomena on the principles of vital action. My arguments were so strongly fortified by a tissue of facts that I very little feared any attempt that might be made at reputation. These were however given ably present at our meetings [by] a Senr. member of great pretensions, of considerable ability, but of everything like gentlemanly principle as empty as an exhausted receiver. This biggoted aspirant had been the evil genious of the society for several years, had sought in vain for preferment in the school of medicine and had as often been disappointed. His satire and low wit in debate as well as a considerable share of shrewdness and reading had rendered him the terror of the junior members, insomuch that he generally monopolised the floor, greatly to prejudice the Society. From this man I expected at least criticism. Accordingly after the reading of my essay, he arose; and after passing sufficient of compliments perhapse [sic] to have conciliated the good will of one less prejudiced than myself; proceded to give his "own views" of the subject, at great length, after which I took occasion to represent his arguments in a light so absurd, and with such well timed ridicule and satire that set the whole house in a roar of laughter, insomuch that it was impossible for the chair to call order. Owing to the fact that the Dr. was very unpopular, and that his arrogance had met so timely a reproof I believe the society were as well much gratified, as he was chagrined. On the Friday following the Dr. was to read a paper before the society, at which time it was our intention he should be fully assured right or wrong. The aspirant however soon found himself so much noticed that he favoured us with his absence. I also had the honor of being chosen member of the [V.?] L. Society, a select association for the promotion of good feeling between the members of the profession, as well as for scientific purposes. Early in the season I united, together with 12 young gentlemen of talents and learning in what we called a "Union Club." Our meetings were conducted as those of our 'quizing club' the winter before, and with the same objects. These young gentlemen were Mrsrs. Bell, Chipley, Coleman, Garnett, of KY. Cowan, Crasthwait, Martin, Richardson of Tenn. Mills and McFarland of N. Ca. George and Wilson of Miss. -- as noble a set of youths as it has ever been my good fortune to associate with. They were all second and some third course students; were all candidates, and all graduated with honor to themselves and satisfaction to their friends. My roommates were Crasthwaite and Richardson of Tenn. The meetings of the Club were generally held in our room as it was large and well accomodated. Towards the close of the session our meetings were allmost [sic] daily. We recapitulated the whole course of Lectures. Our object was not barely to pass the examination, but to prepare ourselves the better for future usefulness and honor. During the winter Prof. Caldwell delivered a most eloquent and lucid course of Lectures on the Science of Phrenology, an admirable science, the truth and utility of which there is no reason to doubt. Prof. C. also delivered a course of Lesctures on Medical Jurisprudence. Prof. Eaton delivered Lectures on Natural Philosophy, etc. Rev. Mr. Smith, an episcopalian divine also delivered a lecture every Sabbath evening on the Evidence of the Christian Religion, for which the acknowledgements of the class are ever due. Neither ought the politeness and hospitality of the citizens to be forgotten. The doors of the different churches were always open to the students and their pews always at their service. My leisure hours were passed pretty much as they were the winter before. . . most pleasantly. The session was now drawing to a close. Considerable axangiety [sic] was manifested at the approach of the ensuing examination. There were now more than 70 candidates. We had now rendered in our Theses, and everything was ready by the 1st of March to commence the 'fiery ordeal.' The examination before the medical faculty had now commenced. On the 9th of March I was presented with a polite note from the Dean that my examination would take place at 9 o'clock on the following day. Never I believe had I been in better spirits. Accordingly a few minutes before 9 o'clock on the 10th of March 1832 with several of my particular friends I entered the Hall room to wait the appointed moment. The time passed with fine glee. Every fellow was in fine spirits, as for myself I was just excited enough to be lively. A minute before I expected the [town?/parlor?] clock proclaimed aloud, the door flew open. I had just time to bow to my cronies, and in an instant I was in the awful presence of the venerated sages! I was acquainted with them all, and felt as tho' I was amongst my friends, as indeed I was. The idea of the sprightly attitudes I had just been in, and threatened to put on in the 'Gre-[?] Box,' had like to have acted upon my risible faculties; when Prof. Dudley commenced his examination. When behold, instead of Capital operations dissections of the most vital organ etc. which I had been the figuring to myself, nothing but the simple myology of the arm and hand, appeared to be thought of. Plague on the things, thinks I, what can he mean by such trifling. The examination of most of the professors was equally simple. The fact was I had always occupied the front seat during the almost daily examinations, thouout [sic] the session. Hence I was no stranger to any of the professors. Never did an hour pass more pleasantly, or more speedily. I thought of, and cared for nothing but what was just before me. Before it appeared to me the time could be half out, Prof. Short, the Dean, with a graceful smile invited me to acompany [sic] him to the Museum[?], or rather the closet. Where the trembling mi---[?] awaits his awful sentence. If rejected he gropes his way out at the back door. A journey much more to be damned than to that awful place "abe pias Eneas ibat[?]." If he is thougtht worthy of the honors of the University he is recalled and introduced to the faculty as "doctor of Med." Never was I more composed than at this time, it appeared to me then, and has ever since. I had intended to write some sentence with my pencil while in the museum[?]. But scarcely had I entered , indeed the door had not closed, when I was recalled and greeted with kind congratulations by all the professors. Profr. Caldwell I remember, had the flattery to tell me I had stood an excellent examination. I returned thanks for the compliment and passed on to the door, made my bow and exit. During all this time I had not thought a word of my fellows without. But scarcely had I passed the door, which was in the second story, when I was received with hearty congratulations, by the whole class. They had all assembled, as usual to witness my debut into the world as Doctor. Well, after making my way, or rather being carried through the crowd to the lower door, receiving the congratulations of my friends and telling the incidents of my examination, I encouraged those who were to follow me. Off we went in "en possu[?]" to quaff the hour with wine cider and merry glee. This indeed was one of the little green isles in the wide ocean of the past on which in after days fond memory will alight to revisit. Pleasantly and flatteringly was I received by my female friends, who had preparties[?] etc. for my reception. At Mrs. C.'s I passed a delightful evening. Chapter XI - 1832 During the witner I sustaind a severe attack of the measles, which reduced me pretty low. A lasting evidence with me at least, of the impropriety of guarding children from this distemper and turning them out to be liable to its attack abroad. During my illness I wanted nothing that generosity, hospitality and affection could furnish. Indeed the Miss McNites were sisters to me, for had they been natural sisters they could have done no more for my comfort. For such kindness I have not words to make proper acknowledgements. Many others of my friends were truly kind to me and are ever worthy of my lasting regard. Full well do I remember and long shall I continue to remember it, one pleasant morning, when I had begun to promenade the room, just after my roommates had left for the Hall, I received a message from Miss Rebecca Mc. and Miss Sarah of Chammiere, two of the most angelic creatures I ever saw, two fairest emblems of beauty, innocence, goodness, kindness, gentleness, and lovliness, that they would pay me a visit. Nothing could nave been more exhilerating. Instantly all thought that I was a miserable invalid vanished, and I was soon in pretty neat [train?] to receive my lovely guests. I was not left in suspense. Like two fairy queens they soon tripped gracefully into my apartment with heavenly smiles such as irradiate the beautific faces of ministering angles. "Heaven in their eyes, in every gesture dignity and grace." Cheerful and sprightly was our conversation, on Eagle wings the pinnioned minutes flew!! After my examination before the medical faculty, by previous engagement, I passed a week at the pleasant garden of Chammiere, to the great improvement of my health and spirits. Never I believe was a week passed much more pleasantly. Young Dr. Robards, the cousin mentioned in a former chapter, was along. The garden and pleasure grounds, an enclosure of 10 acres, was so laid out and improved as to be emminently interesting. The serpentine circular walk was just a mile long through thick and splendid shrubbery, with settles at convenient distances. Rare trees and shrubs, on one side under a heavy cedar [brow?/bower?], was a pure limpid stream breaking out of the hill and running 25 or thirty yards and again entering a fine grotto, buried itself deep beneath the rising hill to the south. The mouth of the cave was about 10 feet wide and 20 high, gradually drawing smaller as it advanced until about 40 yds it barely admitted the body of a man, then widening out and extending south to a great distance. I believe it had been explored for some miles without, finding a termination. Above the spring 20 yds was a fishing pond of about 8[?] yds in circumference when full, with a small island in the midst and a pleasure boat. These scenes together with the fair inhabitants of the garden, make our time at the mansion "fly sweetly and swiftly along." Had I staid [sic] much londer no doubt 'twould have been to me at least an enchanting garden. May the rich blessings of heaven ever rest upon its hospitable inmates! On the 19th of March 1832. In the medical hall of Transylvania University, whas [sic] held the publick examination of the candidates who had been successful in the first or private examination before the medical faculty. At an early hour the candidates 73 I believe in number took their seats before the rostrum. The trustees of the University took their seats on either side. The audience of citizens had now assembled. The ceremonies had now commenced. Each professor in regular rotation, until they as well as the trustees were satisfied. As soon as the examination closed commenced the ceremony of awarding diplomas. We withdrew for a moment, and on reassuming our seats the valedictory address an able and feeling farewell was delivered by by Prof. Dudley. After which the honorary members of the Medical Society of whom I had the honor to be, received their diplomas, and were addressed ably and eloquently by Prof. Yandell. The Labors of the Season now over, the last solemn ceremonies being ended, we arose slowly and bade adieu forever the sacred Halls of our Alma Mater. The 20th of March was to me a solemn day. That morning I was to bid adieu, perhaps forever to the scenes where and persons amongst whom I had passed many a happy hour. The morning was serene and beautiful, but it was veiled in mourning to the family in which I had resided. That morning had witnessed the dying scene of the last of the three oldest sons of my old friend. They had all died in the short time of less than one year. The last was now a corpse. The amiable and bereaved family afflicted and in the deepest mourning. I must acknowledge that it was with tears I bid them a last adieu! Happy, thrice happy may they ever be! And may the choice blessings of heaven attend you my sisters! And [may] we all meet again where parting is no more! Near fifty students, now graduates, met at Postlethwaits' tavern to bid a last adieu and exchange a valedictory blessing. It was a solemn scene. We had been to each other for probably the happiest parts of our lives like brothers. We were about to enter the busy scenes of a wicked world. We were about to part perhaps and in all probability forever. It was a wound in our social feelings which the balm of Time alone could heal. That evening a merry crowd of young graduates were seen drawing up to the pleasant village of Harrodsburg. Never, I recken [sic], was there a more jovial set of travlers [sic]. I stop't a few days with my old roommates Richardson and Crasthwait in T-lper[?]. Tarried a few days in Tuscaloosa, saw there my old friend and classmate J.G. Davenport. Visited Dr. Woods, Pres't of the University and a Lady. And some time in April again reached my fathers house. Awgain [sic] welcomed to my parental home. Visited Mobile purchased books and meds., returned home and offered my profl. services to the People. Conclusion - 1832 Thus I have extended far beyond their first intent, these humble sketches. Noting them has often beguiled a melancholy hour. In recording them, I have in a measure lived over again the past. In imagination, while the frosts of winter have congealed the fountains of present delight, have I basked in the springtide of former pleasures. And after this cursory retrospect of my past life, altho much I may see to be regreted, yet had I the power to recall events, and live over again in reality the past. I question if I could better shape my course, or improve my time to more advantage. From my humble beginnings I could not have expected more. Yea when I reflect how many there are of my contemporaries whose early prospects were so much brighter than my own, whom my better fortune has left so far behind me; and when I also reflect how few there are of the thousands of my equals then, who have in so short a time reached my present humble station, I ought to be filled with acknowledgements of adoration to that beneficent Providence that has preserved, protected and guided me; for that parental goodness that watched over the helplessness of my infancy, taught and nurtured the young ideals of my childhood, indulged and fostered the rising genius of my early yourth, and that counceled [sic] and blessed my maturer efforts; and of grateful respect for the continued kindness and regard of many valued friends and benefactors, whose timely advice directed and whose generous aid gave new springs to my honest aspirations. Chequered have already been the scenes of my childhood and my youth. I have seen much and learned not a little of that strange creature man, "The glory, jest and riddle of the world." Yet has he many features I have yet to study. Not only have I watched and studied him abroad. Inwardly have I directed my thoughts and observations. "Prothi Se----[?]." "----- turipsum[?]," has been my adopted motto. But ego mihi incognitus still. To me my own composition is not fully known. The organology of my own head I have not yet thoroughly phrenologised; To me is my own maiden heart a stranger yet. I say maiden heart, not only because that appellation flatters it; but because I feel its force in all that is romantic. If I have not one lobe less in my brain, I have in my heart one more nerve than common youths. A nerve that thrills through every fiber, and gives increased warmth to my composition; that magnifies every pleasure as well as every pain; that almost makes sentiment a passion; and substitutes for dull reality the more brilliant charms of imaginary existence. To the nature and cause of these things phrenology has given me a flattering introduction and phrenology must mature the acquaintance. Whether I have followed the road that nature pointed out in the choice of my profession; and whether I now occupy the station she has allotted me, phrenology and experience must decide. From the nature of these sketches, the style and language must necessarily be full of imperfection. A great part has not been transcribed or even [revisioned?], but flowed from a careless pen while the mind that directed it was wandering through the elysian fields of imagination. Thus humbly ends this humble tale. Yet should my span of life be thus prolonged, in a future year, when gray hairs shall have assumed the place of these golden locks; when pale deep furrows shall have been ploughed in these now youthful cheeks, and dim shall be these now brilliant eyes; When other strange and powerful emotions, now wheretofore to me unknown, shall have been generated, shall have matured and died; When the tide of passion and of romance shall have ceased to ebb and flow; When Love and Glory with all their turbulent train shall have been offered up at the altar of the old moralist time; and all their sad remembrance, together with all the golden visions of Youth, the silver realities of manhood, and the iron reflections of age shall sink down together in eternal slumbers, as things that are not, under the cold dark waves of Lethe's obliviating flood; When --- but oh --- I'm lost in the mazy labyrinth of wild anticipation. Then, even then! Midst the anticipations, oh may I say the happy anticipations of another existance, one pearly beam of sweet remembrance, like Noah's Dove, will soar aloft on balmy pinnions, over the hills , the dales, the rugged steeps and careworn fields of my then past but now future life, and guided by these imperfect sketches, may light on some little green isle of youthful existence in the wide ocean of the past, and thence bear some peaceful olive branch to comfort and to cheer the last sad decline. Note. With many other incidents I had neglected to remark that on the 4th of July 1831 by special request I delivered a popular address to the citizens at Bragg's Store, where a large and respectable concourse had assembled for the purpose of celebrating the day. The address was received with applause and was at the request of the meeting published in one of the journals of the day. This circumstance I believe operated in my favor. In 1832 I also received a polite note of invitation to like honors from the committee appointed for the purpose at a public meeting. This however, with an acknowledgement, I thought proper to decline.