Obit: A Frank Epitaph, The Colfax Chronicle, Saturday, 16 August 1884, Page 2, Column 3 Submitted by Houston Tracy, Jr. TreSearch3@aol.com ********************************************** Copyright. All rights reserved. http://usgwarchives.net/copyright.htm http://usgwarchives.net/la/lafiles.htm ********************************************** A Frank Epitaph The following epitaph occurs in The Champion's of the East for January 12th, 1830 a newspaper which, I believe was very short-lived. Whether it really exists, or ever existed, on a gravestone, or whether it is but a piece of newspaper satire, I must leave to some Cambrian reader to inform us. [The preceding was a disclaimer by the Editor of The Colfax Chronicle] Copy of a Remarkable Inscription on a Monument Lately Erected in Horsleydown Church Cemetery. Here lieth the bodies of THOMAS BOND and MARY, his wife. She was temporate, chaste and charitiable; But she was proud, peevish and passionate. She was an affectionate wife and tender mother But, her husband and child, whom she loved, seldom saw her countenance without a disgusting frown Whilst she received visitors whom she displaced with an endearing smile, Her behavior was discreet toward strangers, But imprudent in her family. Abroad, her conduct was influenced by good breeding But, at home, by ill-temper She was a professed enemy to flattery, and was seldom known to praise or commend; But the talents in which she principally excelled were difference of opinion, and discovering flaws and imperfections. She was an admirable economist, and without prodigality, dispensed plenty to every person in her family; But, would sacrafice their eyes to a farthing candle. She sometimes made her husband happy with her good qualities; But, much more frequently miserable with her many failings; inasmuch that, in thirty years cohabitation be often lamented, that inaugre all her virtues, he had not, in the whole, enjoyed two years of matrimonial comfort. At length finding she had lost the affections to her husband, as well as the regard of her neighbors, family disputes having been divulged by servants, she died of vexation, July 20, 1768, aged 48 years. Her worn-out husband survived her four months and two days, and departed this life, Nov. 28th, 1768, in the 54th year of his age. William Bond, brother to the deceased, erected this stone AS A WEEKLY MONITOR to the surviving wives of this parish, that they may avoid the infamy, of having their memoirs handed down to posterity with a Patch-work character.