Woman Finds Long-Lost Family Relatives Were Just Across The Canal
Submitted by N.O.V.A. July 2005
Times Picayune	11-26-1998


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Patsy Deffes remembers the Thanksgiving holiday nearly four decades ago when her mother
gathered her and her brothers and sister into the living room of their Chalmette home
to make a tearful admission.

"She told us that she was adopted and that she was sorry she couldn't tell us anything
about her family," Deffes said. "She wanted to tell us that she had nobody, no
information. She was so depressed because she felt she couldn't give us anything about
our history."

Deffes recalls clutching her mother, Catherine Deffes, now 67, both in tears, quietly
vowing to restore the missing piece of the family's genetic puzzle.

"I wanted to find her mother, my grandmother," Deffes, 46, of Destrehan said. "I needed
to do that for my mother. It meant so much for her."

Little did Deffes know that just six miles away across the Industrial Canal, the other
branch of her family, Catherine Deffes' mother, Mildred Bennett, her husband and a
brood of four children were living in a 9th Ward neighborhood. It would take another
two generations before Patsy Deffes would find her grandmother in an emotional sojourn
that recently ended in a nursing home in a small Texas town near the Arkansas border,
where Bennett, now 87, lives today.

But all will agree the trek was worth it, culminating this week in a Thanksgiving
celebration in Texas where they've had to break out lots of extra chairs.

"Now I know where I come from," Catherine Deffes said this week from the home of her
recently discovered younger brother, Melvin Bennett, a retired military man living in
Hooks, Texas.

Melvin Bennett fondly remembers the shocking phone call he got about a month ago.

"Patsy called and asked me if I knew anything about a sister that was given up for
adoption," Bennett said. "I said no, I have no idea. Then she asked me what I thought
about having a sister and I said, 'Well, that would be great. Come on down."'

"I never knew I had a sister. My younger sister was the only one who apparently knew
but she was sworn to secrecy."

In 1931, in prohibition-era New Orleans, Mildred Ferchaud, an unwed 20-year-old, gave
birth to a baby girl. Her strict family forced her from their home. With no place to
go, Ferchaud placed her four-month-old baby girl, "Kathleen Elizabeth," at the old St.
Vincent Infant Asylum on Magazine Street in New Orleans.

A couple of weeks later when Mildred, who had since married the baby's father, Walter
Bennett, returned to the home to retrieve her infant daughter, she was told the baby
was adopted by a New Orleans couple. Abiding by a confidentiality policy, the home
refused to divulge the family's name to the panic-struck newlyweds.

Eleven years later, little Catherine Chenier and her brother, Bernard, were taken aside
by her adopted mother, Bessie Chenier, and told they were adopted. Bessie Chenier took
her daughter and son to the Magazine Street home to show them the building where she
had adopted them. It would take another decade, after her adoptive mother died in 1952
for Catherine to launch her search for her birth mother in earnest.

"I was happy that she had taken me and given me a place to stay, but I knew I wanted to
find my mom," Catherine Deffes said. "But I didn't want to search for her because I
didn't want to hurt my adoptive mom's feelings."

But it would take many years for Catherine Deffes to find her mother. As she approached
eligibility for Social Security benefits, she realized she needed a birth certificate.
She obtained one and was both elated and crestfallen as she studied the information
with trembling hands.

"It had my mother's maiden name but it also had something that disturbed me," Deffes
said.

The certificate was stamped "Illegitimate" in big block letters.

"It upset me," Deffes said.

With the stinging Thanksgiving announcement of many years ago, it would be Patsy Deffes
who would carry the torch for her mother's crusade, as Catherine Deffes became ill,
undergoing 15 surgeries for stomach cancer and gallbladder complications. The cancer
has been cured.

"I knew she needed to find her mom because it would complete her life," Patsy Deffes
said. "She needed answers."

The Destrehan woman began a harried search for clues -- calling people with her
mother's maiden name, Ferchaud, in phone books across the metropolitan area. Most of
the recipients of the calls said they had no information. But a New Orleans man did,
admitting after several calls from Patsy that he believed he'd had a cousin named
Mildred Ferchaud. The tiny clue led Patsy to a relative, a distant cousin in Slidell,
who broke the case open.

"She gave me my grandmother's married name and the names of her children," Patsy said.
But the family, which was spread over several states, had lost touch. Patsy tried two
more options: She had her niece, Amy Russo, 20, of Violet, do a computer search for
Mildred Ferchaud Bennett. The search turned up a match in Hooks, Texas, but the number
had been disconnected. Simultaneously, Patsy contacted 1-800-US SEARCH that turned up
the same location.

Realizing there was a Bennett at a nearby address, Patsy dialed Melvin's number. Within
minutes, she was calling him "Uncle Melvin."

"I said 'Do you want a sister and whole other family?'" Patsy recalled. "He said, 'Well
sure. Can you be here tomorrow?"'

The Deffes clan--Patsy, Catherine, her husband John Deffes Sr., 76; their other
daughter, Evelyn, 44, of Violet; their son, John Jr., 50, of Violet; Evelyn's son,
Angelo Russo, 23, of Braithwaite; his wife and 2-year-old daughter Madison Ann soon
traveled the more than 400 miles to see the long-lost matriarch who brightened at the
news. Patsy's other brother, Ralph Deffes, 48, of Chalmette, also is planning a trip to
meet his grandmother.

Patsy Deffes was shocked to learn that her grandfather, Walter Bennett, and his sons
had worked the rides at Pontchartrain Beach, where the Deffes family spent many a
weekend.

"It sent shivers down my spine," Deffes said. "We probably passed each other and never
knew."

In videos of the reunion, Mildred Bennett waves at her grandchildren, smiling and
nodding as everyone explains their connection to her.

As Catherine wipes away tears, Mildred Bennett says, "Don't cry."

Catherine responds, "They're happy tears, Mother. I'm happy."