Bio for TOLSTEAD, Lydia Hedwig Marie (STERN) (b.1897 d.1992), Mower Co., MN ========================================================================= USGENWEB NOTICE: In keeping with our policy of providing free information on the Internet, material may be freely used by non-commercial entities, as long as this message remains on all copied material, AND permission is obtained from the contributor of the file. These electronic pages may NOT be reproduced in any format for profit or presentation by other organizations. Persons or organizations desiring to use this material for non-commercial purposes, MUST obtain the written consent of the contributor, OR the legal representative of the submitter, and contact the listed USGenWeb archivist with proof of this consent. If you have found this file through a source other than the MNArchives Table Of Contents you can find other Minnesota related Archives at: http://www.usgwarchives.net/mn/mnfiles.htm Please note the county and type of file at the top of this page to find the submitter information or other files for this county. FileFormat by Terri--MNArchives Made available to The USGenWeb Archives by: Diane Rollins Submitted: February 2007 ========================================================================= LYDIA HEDWIG STERN February 16, 1897-April 07, 1992 Lydia Hedwig Marie Stern was born on February 16, 1897 the youngest of nine children. Her father and mother, Ferdinand and Albertina (Sukow) Stern were German emigrants who came to the United States in April 1885 with their, then, four children. Lydia's parents came from Pommern which is located in north eastern Germany near the Baltic Sea close to the large port city of Stettin. Lydia was born on the family farm in Dexter Township Mower County in south central Minnesota. It was a community with many German emigrants and according to family history the parents spoke German and the children spoke German and English. The children of Ferdinand and Albertina Stern Amelia Stern b.Jul 09,1879-(18 years older Lydia) Herman Stern b.Sep 11,1880 (17 years older then Lydia) Bertha Stern b.Jan 04,1883 (14 years older) Albert Stern b.1885 died as an infant Emma Stern b.Jan 08,1887 (10 years older than Lydia) Elsie Stern b.Jul 08,1890 (7 years older than Lydia) Arthur Stern b.Dec 10,1892 (5 years older Lydia) Ervin Stern b.Nov 17,1894 (3 years older Lydia) Lydia was baptized on May 14, 1897 and her sponsors were Frau Maria Strangman, Caroline Hammermeister, and Fred Christgau. Lydia attended a parochial Lutheran school that was adjacent to the church her family belonged to which her father helped establish. The Stern family was active in The Trinity Evangelical Lutheran Church, where services were conducted in German. The families' baptisms, confirmations and marriages were conducted at the church or with the clergy of this church. Lydia played the church organ and also played piano at church functions. Lydia grew to adulthood on the family farm. She met her future husband Harold James Tolstead, in Renova, Minnesota where her brother Herman operated a general store. Harold was a station agent and telegrapher for the Chicago Great Western railroad. They were married in Trinity Lutheran Church on August 4, 1915. Harold was 20 years of age and Lydia was 18 years old. They lived in Renova for a short time above her brother's store before moving to Taopi, Minnesota. They lived in Taopi for 32 years where all five of their children were born. Their first child, Donald- was born on June 26, 1917 when Lydia was 20 years old and Harold was 22 years old. Donald was delivered by a midwife and was a breach baby, being born feet first (no doubt a painful and difficult birth for a first time mom). The family grew to include Blanche born on November 7, 1919, Shirley born six years later on June 2, 1925, Robert born on July 18, 1930 and Marilyn born on October 28, 1931. Lydia had many interests and talents including writing, gardening, cooking, and playing piano. She was a newspaper correspondent, reporting Taopi news for the Austin Daily Herald. She served on the Village Council and was the Village Clerk. They lived in several homes in Taopi. Their last home in Taopi did not have a well so they had to haul drinking and cooking water for several blocks. Lydia was close to her large extended Stern family. Lucille Tolstead said Harold, Lydia's husband affectionately referred to the Stern family as the "Swarm". With the exception of her oldest sister Amelia (who lived in Oregon and California) all the other Stern siblings lived in Austin or surrounding communities in Mower County. Harold and Lydia both liked dogs and the family had many family pets including Boston terrier and Boston terrier mix dogs, having litters of puppies. One of the favorite family dogs was named "Murphy" and Donald talked fondly about Murphy, especially the greeting he got from Murphy when he came home after being discharged from the Army during W W II. After the depot closed in Taopi, Harold was transferred to Racine, where he was station agent and telegrapher until his retirement. Harold and Lydia enjoyed frequent trips to California on the train to visit family who moved to California, including Harry's mother and father, Lewis and Lucy, two sisters and their families. My memories of visiting grandma and grandpa were at their homes in Stewartville where they lived briefly and in Racine. The last home they lived in was a block from their church and an old elementary school in Racine where their grand kids could play on the playground. Lydia continued to live in Racine in their home after Harold died in 1971. She eventually sold the house and moved into an apartment that was developed from the old school house building. She lived in the apartment for several years before moving into an assisted living apartment and later to a nursing home in Rochester. She died at the age of 95 on April 7, 1992. Harold and Lydia are buried in a cemetery near Racine where Grandpa Harry used to pass on his daily walks after his retirement. It is a peaceful spot near the home they enjoyed for so many years in Racine. LYDIA HEDWIG STERN By Robert Tolstead "She had the idyllic childhood one might expect for the baby of a large family in rural Southern Minnesota. She attended a Lutheran parochial school a mile or so from home. The farm is visible from U.S. Highway 16 and now Interstate Highway 90. Lydia in later years was fond of pointing out the farm and the creek that runs through it; telling her children and grandchildren about her fishing exploits after school. Lydia's oldest brother Herman owned and operated a general store in the village of Renova, not far from the Stern farm, and that is where she met Harold James Tolstead her future husband. Harold was a telegraph operator for the railroad there. She was a shy seventeen year old and he was nineteen when they met. Lydia had fair skin, green eyes, and dark brown hair and at five feet four inches tall and one hundred and seventeen pounds, she had a lovely feminine figure. They were married on August 4, 1915, and their first home together was above her brother's store. It was truly a match made in heaven with very little of typical marital strife. Lydia and Harold had a deep and abiding love for each other, enjoying doing things together and were best friends and companions until their deaths. Harold was transferred to Taopi, Minnesota shortly after their marriage and they lived there for the next thirty-two years. She bore their two sons and three daughters there between 1917 and 1931. Although Harold was an involved and loving father, with his seven day per week work schedule, most of the work of rearing and disciplining the children fell to Lydia." Lydia was first and foremost a homemaker; her highest priority was caring for her family, but she also had interests outside the home. She was well informed on both local and national issues of the time and was a staunch supporter of the unpopular Volstead Act (prohibition.) Lydia ran for and won election to the Village Council and served several years as Village Clerk. For many years she worked part time as a correspondent for the Austin Daily Herald, writing weekly articles about news in Taopi. Lydia spoke German as a child and after they were married taught Harold to speak the language also. They used it when they wanted communicate with each other in the presence of the children, without their knowing what they were saying. She loved music especially the piano and although she was not confident of her musical talent, she was an adequate pianist and influenced her two elder daughters to play also, though she didn't teach them herself. She certainly didn't consider herself a feminist in context of the meaning of the word in the 1970's and 1980's. She vocally disagreed with their strident and bitter rhetoric at that time, but she was a kindred spirit; strong willed and adept at using power in her own life. Lydia's and Harold's personalities were different but each complimented the other very well. She was often the unwilling foil for Harold's wit and probably at times a willing foil, but she would occasionally turn the tables on him. She and her husband had an equitable division of work and responsibility. They discussed and came to agreement on every major decision. Although she acknowledged him as the final authority on their decisions, it was a moot issue because if she wanted something, which he could provide, he always did. They virtually always agreed. The economic depression of the 1930's brought many transients, "riding the rails" through Taopi, and some of them appeared at Lydia's back porch for a sack lunch of sandwiches, coffee or lemonade and maybe a dessert. Her attitude toward these people demonstrated her kindness and Christian philosophy. When someone suggested that these "bums" were taking advantage of her by passing news of her good lunches to others; perhaps even marking signs toward her house, she said" What difference does it make? If a person is hungry they need something to eat." Migraine headaches plagued her most of her adult life. They came regularly and would make her quite ill from one to three days. The headaches inexplicably ceased when she was in her eighties" After Harold's death in 1971, Lydia continued to live in their house in Racine. In 1983 she moved into an apartment to escape the concerns of maintenance, snow removal, etc. She enjoyed her life in Racine for many more years, remaining active in the Methodist Church and a local women's club and traveling to visit her children in various places in the nation. By 1988 her short term memory began to fail significantly, she fell and broke her wrist and after hospitalization went temporarily into a convalescent home. She returned to her apartment after a few months, but could not manage there alone and in 1989 reluctantly agreed to move into an assisted living apartment at Town Hall Estates, in Rochester where her daughter Blanche could oversee her care. About a year later she entered the Samaritan Bethany Nursing Home and lived there until her death, April 7, 1992 at age 95. She is buried beside her beloved Harold in the Hamilton Cemetery southeast of Racine. (Robert Tolstead, 1993) MEMORIES OF GRANDMA LYDIA By Diane Tolstead Rollins I look back with great fondness at the time I spent with my Grandma Lydia. She was a major influence in my life and a very positive role model. She was exactly in my estimation what a grandma should be, kind, caring, and wise, with an easy laugh and snow white hair. She was active in her church, and had many friends in Racine. She enjoyed working at the church's annual chicken and biscuits dinner. She was a member of a quilting group. I have an appliquéd butterfly quilt that Grandma helped complete with her group, which she later won in a raffle. She enjoyed laughing and regularly watched the soap opera "Guiding Light" for years. She had a wonderful sense of humor and on one occasion after being given an anesthetic when she had gallbladder surgery she told her doctor "I suppose if you find anything good in there you'll keep it". The house that I remember Grandma and Grandpa Tolstead living in was a ranch house in Racine. There was a piano, and a box of old family photo's in their extra bedroom, with a painting of my grand pa Harry as a child above the piano. I always enjoyed looking through the old pictures and listening to the stories Grandma would tell. I wish I would have remembered more and asked her more. Their house had beautiful lilac bushes in their backyard. I can still remember the scent of the lilacs blowing in a spring wind. We had many large family gatherings with the extended family while I was growing up for holidays that included; Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and Mother's Day. It seemed to me the whole day involved preparing food for a big dinner, cleaning up the food after the meal, and in the German tradition, having a lunch before everyone left, cleaning everything up again after the lunch, and dividing the left-overs before heading home. Grandma and Grandpa always gave us three crisp one dollar bills for Christmas and our birthday. I remember Grandma making Swedish meatballs, and rhubarb pies and desserts. She was a good hostess and she always seemed to be able to rustle up sandwiches and a dessert no matter when you visited them. She enjoyed shopping and was very particular about her purchases. She was very human and had some strong personality traits. She was stubborn as a mule, (a characteristic I too have embraced) and believed that "prohibition" worked. She was vocal about the evils of alcohol. She was very frugal and always "late" throughout her lifetime. If you told her when you would be arriving to pick her up, she would just be starting to get ready when you arrived. It left a lasting legacy with my Dad of hating to be late and promptness being very important in our family. She frequently lost her keys and considerable time was spent "breaking back in" to her house in Racine. Grandma and Grandpa were cute together and Grandma always had a sense of sadness after Grandpa's death. She has had a lasting impact on my life. She was warm, loving and as I said earlier everything a grandma should be, and more. ========================================================================= Copyright Diane Rollins 2007. All rights reserved. http://www.usgwarchives.net/copyright.htm =========================================================================