Beaufort County, NC - Letters William & Emmet Robinson Collection Johnston County Heritage Center Reference Box, P.C.1.1. Document has written at the bottom George Ragsdale Collection Beaufort Jan'y 24th 1862 My Dear Friend Yours is just received & its contents is consoling indeed, for it appears to me that man has never suffered as I have & I humbly pray that God may endow me with fortitude sufficient to bear it. Vipers have been mirsed? & warned to life & oposition but to sting me. Ever since I have been in the service, I have been misrepresented, culminated & abused. Their perserverance to dishonor me has been unprecedented, but little did I think the subordinates under me whose duty it was to assist were among my relentless persued & the motive too, how degrading, that they might supplant me. No other person in the service could have been found guilty under the charges & testimony: They were all cocked & primed & I was condemned before hand. I was charged with being absent without leave & the specification falsely stating that I had leave. I produced the order of Gen'l Gatlin, to wit, "Cap't Pinder is authorized to have the 'Steamer Johnson' thoroughly repaired for the navigation of Beaufort Harbour & the Confederate States will pay for the same." I left Camp to attend to this because I thought it my duty to do so & when I returned, Col White asked me by what authority I left, I replied by the authority of Gen'l Hill. The Steamer Johnson was at Nerbern & how could I attend to Gen'l Hills order without leaving Camp. Having received the order I did but do my duty in going to attend to it, though the Court decided it was no order & my statement was false in stating that it was an order. It is self evident the Court was not disposed to do me justice, for if they had decided that the order did not justify me in leaving, they would not have found me guilty of making a false statement, that I had an order they could not deny for it was shown & acknowledged to be Gen'l Hills. But my dear Friend before that God whom some day I expect to appear I have done my duty cherrfully & willingly, whilst drunkenness, rioting & neglect of duty has been unnoticed & overlooked day after day, I have been arraigned & hunted down because I was not of them & boldly denounced such conduct. It is hard to be censured for doing ones duty. It is harder still to be censured by my Country which I love still, love ever, though unjustly crushed to the Earth by those who pretend to guard his honor. I am still trying to serve her, I desire to shed this tainted blood in her defiance & of this boos__ be denied me, banishment from her dominion but not to the North, I expect it's a probability Havana will be my selection either that or France. I have never been ashamed untill lately to look my fellow man in the face & of how it wrings my soul ! If I deserved it I don't think I should feel so keenly. You ask me if you can do anything you have done all a friend could do, but there are others whom I have greater claims on that have done nothing. There are those who could have me restored by a word, or who could even rebuke the packed & prejudged Court by appointing me to a position that all even mine enemies can not deny but that I am capable of filling. The judgement of the Court does not prevent me from holding another Commission. I was not dismissed or cashierd?, but ceased to be an officer. I expect to leave Tomorrow for Bermuda to return with a cargo of what we most need. I attempted last night to run the blockade but failed, though I am not disheartened & intend to try it again. I have several claims before the board please withdraw them all, most positively I will not receive a dime. I had rather me & mine should starve than for them to receive it. My mind is made up to this & I ask as a favor of you to withdraw every claims whether all or not for steamboat or anything else. In regard to the money left with me for John after he left I was about some weeks, it was rumord among the men, that John had left for good, hacked on by those same men that John would never pay them &c. Coming to my ears I told them that if John owed any of them I would settle it for him as I had money belonging to him. Several presented claims & satisfying myself that the debts were just I paid out $22.30 & settled all his claims except a debt due to Sd Walker & $3 due me for shoulder bag & 3 1/2 cash lent which with the $22.31 makes $29.30 credit this by $20 & $8 due for the state Journal will leave a small balance still due me of $1.30 but we will call it square. John will tell you this is all right. I am under many oblibations to you for all past kindnesses & I shall be ever glad to hear from you, your letters are of vast deal of consolation to me particularly the last two. Excuse my not answering you last, I had almost forgot I had a friend on Earth. I am not whah I was & shall never recover from this last blow though I will try to bear it with Christian fortitude & ever pray for mine enemies though that hideous phantom revenge haunts one contually. May God give me fortitude to resist it. Devoted & Fraternally P.S. I have rec'd the draft Yr for $140 from my beloved Col. Jo.S. Pinder give him my best love J.S.P _________________________________________________________________________ USGENWEB NOTICE: In keeping with our policy of providing free information on the Internet, data may be used by non-commercial entities, as long as this message remains on all copied material. The electronic pages may NOT be reproduced in any format for profit or for presentation by other persons or organizations. Persons or organizations desiring to use this material for purposes other than stated above must obtain the written consent of the file contributor, and contact the listed USGenWeb archivist with proof of this consent. The submitter has given permission to the USGenWeb Archives to store the file permanently for free access. File contributed for use in USGenWeb Archives by Guy Potts __________________________________________________________________________