Wayne County, NC - Letters File contributed for use in USGenWeb Archives by Paula Krimsky __________________________________________________________________________ USGENWEB NOTICE: In keeping with our policy of providing free information on the Internet, data may be used by non-commercial entities, as long as this message remains on all copied material. The electronic pages may NOT be reproduced in any format for profit or for presentation by other persons or organizations. Persons or organizations desiring to use this material for purposes other than stated above must obtain the written consent of the file contributor, and contact the listed USGenWeb archivist with proof of this consent. The submitter has given permission to the USGenWeb Archives to store the file permanently for free access. __________________________________________________________________________ A 2961.2 - WS Goldsboro, NC 7/1/1843; addressed to: "Mary, Eleanor et Ceteris" & dated 7/2/1843 My dear girls, There was scarcely any thought that afforded me so much gratification on leaving home, as the hope of your correspondence. I felt the more reluctant to go, when I saw you were grieved at my departure; and that which the fear of disease in a sickly climate, or of slaveholding fury could not induce me to shrink from, the love of a sister & her anxiety [,] the affectionate regard of my friends & the tearful eyes on many whom I loved almost persuaded me to abandon - no not almost - for having made up my mind fixedly, nothing could almost [underlined] persuade me to change it. I have thought of you often since that time. Every new flower, every beautiful bird, every fair & lovely object presented to my eyes remind me of you & I say, "how Mary would like that wild flower in her border, - would I could show that beautiful red bird to Emmeline - can't I carry some of that beautiful passion flower to plant in Amelia's [Aurelia's?] flower bed." When I hear the exquisite mocking-bird, I think of Eleanor’s singing & the dahlias in full bloom call to mind those two I carried to Sile [sic – I think] the night before I came away. But most of all I think of you all, when I see the poor little slave girls shabbily & sometimes indecently dressed, ordered about positively if not unkindly, unthinking, ignorant, & worse. They never learn what [looks as if ‘to’ was overwritten by the ‘w; of ‘what] it is to love a flower, they never lay their sooty fingers on the white keys of a piano unless young mistress is too lazy to wipe off the dust. But Oh, their minds are darkened, beclouded. Think, for what would you be deprived of the pleasure of reading? But the cruel law of North Carolina would punish me were I to teach them. Then there is a kind look for every one but the slave – no sympathy, no feeling for them – I can’t tell you how it is, but I feel it painfully, bitterly. I long to talk with them, to let them know there is one in the wide world will[sic – no subject] recognize these poor little slave girls as his sisters. God made us all! When I see these poor little girls I think of you. Don’t shrink from the association [last word on the line below by itself – page ends here] New page: The country here is not exactly to my taste, though here I find abundant traces of the same beautiful workmanship, which created & adorned our home in the New England hills. The same blue sky with its sparkling gems, brighter than we are wont to see, - forests evergreen with their tall pines, glossy-leaved [sic] gumtrees [sic] & classic bay – gay flowers in the fields – beautiful gladsome birds unequaled songsters in the groves. But still I pine for some eminence from which I may enjoy fair prospect, some deep secluded dell with its pure stream trickling down the rocks. The country here is flat, almost a dead level little more than a hundred feet above the ocean level, and in a distance 240 miles north & south, and 70 miles east & west, the highest elevation above the sea is 180 feet. There is here no hill, nothing like one – no rocks, not a stone so large as a pigeon’s egg, no green meadows [sic – no punctuation] no pasture fields – no fine orchards or clumps of trees, but continued forest only interrupted by narrow roads & vast plantations of corn, with bare dead pine trees scattered about – sand & clay only half covered by with coarse grass. I went a fishing [sic] & carried an umbrella walked slow, bathed in the muddy stream, & yet I was at a melting heat in 5 minutes – the thermometer up to 100 in the shade. If I sit still in the coolest place I can find, the sweat runs down in streams, & I think how cool my school room used to be in comparison. However, I could endure the heat uncomfortable as it is if I had an object. [‘#’ at the start of the line – the followijng section is quoted in Master of the Gunnery, pp. 141] I had hoped my connection with Dr. Andrews who has great influence & popularity here, and extensive acquaintance among the higher classes might introduce me to some slaveholders with whom I could converse freely upon their abominable system – but I have given up the hope. The south is worse than I even thought it. I have had a long confidential talk with Dr. A. upon the subject. I told him I meant to talk with the gentlemen slaveholders to whom he introduced me, and was willing for myself to risk the consequences of a stump speech to the people – at all events to the candid men I must talk in private at least. He replied, “upon this subject there are no candid [page ends] New page: men & entreated that, if not for myself, yet for the sake of him and his family, I would hold my peace. He could protect me from personal violence, but it would be at the sacrifice of all his prospects in life, of his standing in society, & all the interests of his family. He dare not let it be known that I am an abolitionist, nor allow me to speak to his most intimate acquaintances. He felt that I would not refrain in consequence of any fears for myself, & therefore he urged me solely out of regard to himself & my sister. I did not promise, yet I have been silent thus far, indeed I have not become sufficiently familiar with any to address then advantageously. But I feel that while here I must endanger my friends or else contrive to be as I am now a living lie – for of course they take me for a slavite, & I allow then to do so. The Dr. wishes me to stay that I may study slavery, but I find that in order to do it I must become a slave. Besides what chance have I to study, when I can neither converse with the tyrants not their victims? Will the masters who will not listen to a word open the doors wide & suffer me to examine at my will? preposterous! [sic] Whatever knowledge I gather will be gained in spite of them. I shall not stay here long on such terms. I will not sacrifice my friends, but they not expect me to sacrifice myself. I would rather start for home today. [‘#’ in pencil marking the end of the quoted passage] Should you be glad to see me? Perhaps I am scaring you with this, but the subject is uppermost in my mind & I hope you will bear with me on that account. I designed to visit southern cities, Charleston, Raleigh, &c [sic], but that thermometer 100 in the shade is a very serious item[?]. I shall not attempt it – above all I wished to visit Chapel Hill, but it’s 80 miles distant by stage only & it seems like paying too dear for the whistle. I hoped to make a collection of flowers, but have not succeeded very well yet. A splendid vine is found here, the name of which I cannot find. It creeps to the height of 50 feet around the dead pines, bearing large ????? of scarlet flowers [a hole in the paper] ed exactly like those of the yellow false foxglove, about 2 ½ inches in length . I[hole]kes [It makes?] a fine appearance at a distance but looks lurid & poison on nearb[hole]tion [nearby inspection?]. It is said to be very poisonous. The Passiflora incand[obscured by a stain]er [?] is a beaut[hole]er [beautiful flower?] growing in the fields. I will bring you a specimen. Garden vegeta[hole]s [vegetables] are in abundance as you will perceive by the following list of those found on the dinner table. Peas, beans, squash, beets, radishes, cucumbers, collards, new potatoes, a considerable variety, which mingles with bacon, baked pig, chickens, mutton and hot biscuit, hot slabs [?], hot muffins, & hot spice make a dinner to get sick upon. And then [‘y’ overwritten by ‘n’] they lecture me because I will not eat of all, & then of the blackberries, whortleberries [sic], plums, green apples, &c. I am moderately abstemious & in tolerable health , though I cannot exactly say I am well. I hope to be better when I am cooler - - - [spaced to margin] And now my dear girls, my sheet is almost full & I must bid you goodbye. The relation which we sustain to each other is very dear to me. I value your affection so highly that I should grieve to think you could forget me, or feel indifferent towards me when I return. I think I have grown better society. I have had a higher purer love for the beautiful & the good – may I indulge the thought that my influence upon you has not been evil. But the cars are here & I must close. You will write to me, if before the 10th inst. [?] direct to me here in Goldsboro N.C. if after that date direct to Philadelphia care of J. Swift Gold. I mean to stop there 2 or 3 days on my return. Let me surely find a letter there if I cannot receive one here. I have many things to say, but this is too late forgive this abrupt termination & believe me your affectionate friend F. W. Gunn P.S. You will know who may read this letter. I cant name them. 2 or 3 of you write me an answer forthwith. WHS 8/17/00