Wayne County, NC - Anna Maria (Rhodes) Hill Letters

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                                              September 10th, 1808
My dear Children:

You will readily admit, no doubt, that my observations, age, and experience 
entitle me to a greater share of knowledge of the world than youth and 
inexperience can possibly have. You will, therefore, I hope, make no scruple 
of receiving this piece of advice as a permanent good from an affectionate 
father; and imprint on your youthful hearts as though it were done with the 
point of a diamond, ever mindful from whence or from whom it came.

First then as it is my design to fortify your minds against the temptations 
of the pleasure of this world, the flesh, and the devil, I do not know a 
better lesson for the purpose than to recommend you to the early study of 
religion and virtue, for we are told by an eminent divine to first seek the 
kingdom of God and his righteousness and all things will be added thereto. 
All things ? Nothing wanting ? But all things shall be added, viz: all things 
that are for our good or benefit, whatever we may rationally ask or require 
of God, shall at his own appointed time be added.

Methinks I hear you ask how shall I begin to seek the kingdom of God and his 
righteousness ? I am glad to find you enquiring, and I give you my word to 
answer you to the best of my abilities; it must be recollected that we are 
all God's creatures, and have not a particle, however small, of knowledge 
compared to his; this will teach us humiliation and the necessity of 
instruction; say you, where or to whome shall I apply for instruction ? I 
answer, in your closet or some private place on your bended knees in all 
humiliation, recollecting your frailty, weakness, and your certain mortality, 
there beg of Almighty God that he will teach you to ask aright for all such 
things as are necessary to you - spiritual and temporal - seek in the scared 
page of scripture, to find out true religion, praying incessantly to God to 
enlighten the eyes of your understanding; and wherever you find knotted 
mysteries or great difficulties, hard to unravel then apply for explanation 
to some divine of worthy reputation; one whose actions are universally 
approved by the moral and the good, one whose actions are exceptional in your 
own and other people's judgement, then appeal to the August tribunal of 
Heaven by solemn and hearty prayer to set you right in the formation of your 
own judgement on the subject, and you will seldom err.

Having got, through the goodness of God, a safe interest in Jesus the Savior 
of the world, and well established in the principles of religion and 
mortality, you must carefully obey the dictates of your own conscience -
which is nothing less than God Almighty speaking to you in private, and 
never indulge yourself in one single act that may bring remorse, or
mortification of that sacred monition fixed in your bosoms by God himself
for the government of your life and actions.

Yet should you incur the displeasure of your Creator, and therey bring on a
remorse of Conscience - this is my opinion, no creature is entirely freed
from - he is merciful and ready to forgive; he holds out the septre of
pardon; if you will, by fervent prayer, venture to touch it with the finger
of faith, for he delights not in the death of a sinner, he will surely
pardon to the utmost your sins and forgive your transgressions. Yet I do
not wish you foolishly Zealous, but wisely so. Having gone through with 
the rudiments of the first principles necessary for you to establish, with
God's help, I shall endeavor to contrast the human passions, or at least
such as are necessary for your early youth.

It is to be observed then, that the first objects that will assail your
youthful minds and which will, if indulged in, grow to crime, is dress and
vanity; in dress you will endevor to outshine those of your comtempories,
which will naturally lead to an uneasiness of the mind, and will cost you
more pain if you should be beaten than the amount of ten such prizes
(should you succeed) would give you pleasure; should you be fortunate in 
your attempts the pleasure will be but momentary, and will not bear 
reflection - reflection did I say - reflection on what ? That you have
merely been able to procure better, or better model a dress than your
competitors, what real worth is there in such a consideration, more
especially as it is sure to bring down the envy, spite, and hatred, of
your fellow creatures which are above all things you should endevor to 
avoid.

Hah ! Are you again enquiring how a good understanding shall be kept up 
with them ? I answer you, by being courteous to all, familiar with none, 
behaving to your equals with candour, and to your inferiors with
charitable affability and good nature, taking care never to make them feel
your superiority, but always appearing to be the best and most obliging
of all classes with whom you associate, and the only way to appear so, is
really to be so; never assume to yourself the first place, but always be
content with the place alloted to you by others who have the right to such
allotment.

But perhaps you wish to know how to regulate your dress, take care always
to dress in the mien between extremities, with neatness, cleanliness, and
as fine stuff or materials as your rank in life requires, taking care that
your clothes should always be set on you as if they were made for you and
not for another, these principles will perhaps give a deadly blow to your
vanity that bane of human life, that destroyer (by different names) of a
vast number of the human creation.

If you relish flattery it is the food of vanity, and if you indulge your
vanity, there is no knowing when or where it will stop. If you should be
flattered by your sex take caution, for mischief perchance is designed; if
you should be flattered by your opposite sex, take it for granted and without
hesitation, that they have a design on you - and will sooner or later succeed,
if you do not peremptorily refuse them either by your company or your ear,
and to be even outgeneraled in small things is mortifying in the extreme,
but if loss of a good reputation should be the result, alas ! My God ! Who
or what can repair the injury ? Nothing, nothing on this side of the grave,
but the wretch thus deceived is left friendless, to the mortifying 
reflections of having offended God, injured their friends and relations and
given the irrevocable, unchangeable stroke of death to their own good
reputation, to all that is valuable or good on earth; good manners require
your patient attention to decent language, let it come from where it will,
but good manners do not require your patient indulgence of man or woman, in
giving loose to their tongues in baneful flattery, or unrestrained 
licentiousness.

Love is never involuntary, and with women should never be, where it is
involuntary the more it is restrained, the more it is violent, where it is
a mere act, formed on discretion and sound judgement, it may always be
commanded at ease and with convenience. If an involuntary passion should
seize your bosom, never consult yourself, but some favorite friend of sound
judgement and good sense. In a marriage state it is well for each sex to
well understand the management of the necessary business in the house and out
of door (as it is usually expressed) at least the theory of each, as the
decrees of providence and uncertain, so it is uncertain how soon by death or
other accident the burthen of both will fall on one, and it is exremely
dangerous to rely on servants or hirelings. With those acquirements no doubt
but men and women will always contribute to make each other happy, as good
sense will make up or make the necessary allowance for the common frailties
of human nature.

In selecting your books to occupy your leisure hours take a special care
to get the best authors on the subject of your choice, and I would recommend
that your library should consist of Philosophy, Historey, Geography, and
Medicine. There are other valuable books, if care is taken to select the
best of the kind which knowledge of the foregoing will naturally lead you
to do so. I do not advise the frequent use of novels as they leave on the
mind ideas of human prefection which are not to be found this side of
heaven, which subjects poor mortals sometimes to disappointments and 
mortification, yet I would not be understood to entirely prohibit the use
of them, for I do clearly agree, the reading of a well chosen novel, where
virtue has passed through the fiery trials of crosses, losses, disappointments
and mortifications, and has at length met with its ample reward (as Joseph
did in the heaven of happiness in the land of Egypt) and also where vice
has in the end met its due and well merited punishment; serves to brace up,
with energy a torpid and relaxed mind, or a mind too much fatigued by ardent
study; equal to or perhaps better, than almost any other thing, hence it is
that well timed and well chosen novelty, is an advantage because it is a
stimulus to virtue.

I could have branched out on these subjects and have said much more to the
purpose, but youthful minds do not like to be overburdened, have been as
short and concise as possible, and have last of all, to recommend it to
you to live the life you would wish to die, and not like many who wish to
live the life of the wicked, but to die the death of the rightous.

One word more to you, my sons: I leave you under a happy and well chosen
govenment, which far surpasses any on earth, and which it is your duty as
men to defend at the hazard of life, property and everything dear to you
while it is administered by those in power with an even hand and strict
rectitude. If otherwise, it will crumble into dust and become contemptable;
in which case it is no longer your duty as patriots or men to hazard anything
in its defense, yet policy requires your silence unless you should have the
honor to stand for high office, in which case being one of God's vice-regents,
it is your duty to interfere and defend the just cause of your country and
good of your fellow citizens, to the last drop of your blood, should you fall
in the attempt, your fall would be enviable and glorious, but be cautious of
rashness, which in such a case would be an unpardonable crime, as you would
certainly be accountable in heaven and on earth for the injuries sustained
by others through your folly.

One more thing, although our happy country is now blessed with universal 
peace, it is quite uncertain how long the nations of the earth may endure our
enviable situation, it may be in case of war, that the will of heaven's high
author may through the instrumentality of your countrymen bring you into the
field, to meet a hostile foe. In order then to prepare ourselves for such
contingencies, I would recommend it to you study with unwearied zeal the art
of war in all its various branches, from the common soldier to the 
generalissimo. 

And now that the King of Heaven, the great Author of all good may incline
your hearts and open and invigorate your understanding, equal to those
arduous studies, and prosper all your various attempts made under the 
influence thereof, is the hearty prayer of your affectionate parent,

                                        James Rhodes

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