USGENWEB NOTICE: In keeping with our policy of providing free information on the Internet, data may be freely used by non-commercial entities, as long as this message remains on all copied material. These electronic pages may NOT be reproduced in any format for profit or presentation by other organizations. page017b EAST SIDE Two pretty weddings occurred on the East Side Xmas week none on the West Side. Well yes, one but she had to come on the East Side to get a good looking man. The parties that received the two machines with loaded shells have a clue of the guilty party who sent them, and if he don't send enough more onion sets to finish their onion beds in the spring, he will be punished to the extent of the law. Mr. West Side Writer don't need to try to turn his popcorn and taffy off by saying he let them fall on the floor. He first tried to eat his popcorn and got his mouth full of cotton, then he tried the taffy and when he bit in to the taffy he discovered the leg of a turkey. If you don't believe it ask Annie Hammond. He first thought he had the joke on the turkey. He thought someone had made their Xmas taffy and set it out to cool and the turkey slipped in the taffy and pulled his leg off. Then he discovered there was no meat on the bone, then his thoughts went to the Hartman family for he knew they were the only people in town that oculd afford turkey. Nevertheless he had a good set of teeth for the week before Xmas he had an extra set of teeth made by Dr. Killen and his mouth was so large that the Dr. had to make the impression between two horse shoes. Well, Dr. Killen knows his business, he was raised on the East Side. I don't think that J. H. Hartman cares to lay T. T. away for if he would make any mistakes in doing the job up just right, he would write back and have it put in the paper. I must say it was not fault of our good minister Rev. Epright calling up the wrong party over the phone. It was the fault of the Hello girl. She was on the West Side. The people on the East side are going to move their residences back from the street and widen the road so the people driving on the road will have enough room without driving on the people's lawns, instead of turning around where there is an alley or street. The Three East Siders The following knights have been elected and installed in the local K. of P. Lodge: P. C. C. J. M. Kuhn C. C. Clifford Gettman V. C. J. H. Eversole Prelate Andrew Roberts M. of E. Geo. Z. Miller K. or R. and S. Virgil Evans M. of W. J. W. Turner M. of A. D. Hooper I. G. Ray Hartman O. G. Glen Jones Trustee W. M. Crawford Delegate to Grand Lodge J. M. Kahn Alternate Earl Anderson What shall I write this war supply article with? Why not try a fountain pen? EAST SIDE NUMBER 2 Most of the fellers who travel your streats must bee haseed farcers for they jus go plodden along lucken strate a hed of their nose and never look at us an raze their lids to sea how near both ends of our dresses meat. It dus us women good to meat such fellers as Al Starkweather and Hary Holis who giv us a tip an a smile which make us all feal like life is wurth liven. As i was goin up tokn the other night with a lady frend we was goin around one of the banks the one that has a water spout in front and ther was a lot of fellers standen ther a talkin an i hurd one ask who they thot it was riten east side who sined Miss M. and a nother feller said he new who it was and they all ask who. Why he said it is Miss Mulen for she rites tu all the papers. Mr. John N. i red pour artickle in the last Videt about Holderman and Salt Lake City and from what i have hurd of him since coming to this town and from what they tell me about how he liked and talked about Col. Henry Steals what he keeps in his seller, I think before he started west he supplied hisself with a supply, and when he got out in the desert he got thirsty and let tu much of it run down his neck and got top heavy or light heavy and could not sea things as they was. if he drinks all this Colonels brew before he starts back he will see Sault Lake City in a different lite.